Posts tagged ‘Getting laid off’

October 30th, 2009

Patience is Key

When the phone stops ringing and emails grow thin, do you take this time to reflect and refocus or panic out? Well I’m with you if you say yes to the former and no to the latter. It’s extremely difficult for me to keep positive with business gets slow. I go straight from worry to panic in 60 seconds.

But here’s what I realized. Being successful at your craft takes time. And you may need that time before things get busy again. The next time you’re waiting on anything, use the extra moments to reorganize your life.

The nervous energy actually helps me work faster and more efficiently. A few days this week I actually went through all of my invoices to figure out how much I have been making in the last month. This helped me to refocus my attention on my business and to spend my energy on the business aspect of freelancing that I had neglected while I was writing.

In the meantime while you’re working on one thing, the question you needed answered or that job you were waiting for will suddenly appear.

Rabbit patiently waiting for his treat

CategoryFacing Fears, Following your dreams, Freelance writing | CommentNo Comments »

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October 12th, 2009

Is Change Coming? And If So, Are You Ready for It?

Hawaii

There’s some things in life that we have no control over.  Things like the weather, the economy, and these days even our job situation can make us feel helpless and vulnerable to change.  But there are other things such as where we live, what actions we take on a daily basis and how we choose to be towards others that we can change.  Why is this important?  Understanding what stage you are in can help bring awareness to why you haven’t loss that weight, applied for that job or taken steps toward your dreams.  Keep reading to determine where you are in the process of change.

According to James Prochaska, John Norcross and Carlo Diclemente in Changing for Good, there are six stages of change.  The first is precontemplation.  You are considered a precontemplator if you resist change, are in denial that you need to change and externalize your problems-blaming others for them instead of focusing on yourself.

The second stage is contemplation.  Contemplators, in comparison to precontemplators, acknowledge that they have a problem and want to find a solution for it.  They are, however, stuck in limbo lacking commitment toward their goals.  They know that they want to change, and may even have steps to get there but they’d rather be thinking about it rather than acting on it.

Preparation is next.  Contemplators who deal with their fears and anxiety and take steps toward action are considered to be in the preparation stage.  Although they are committed and may have already taken steps toward change, this is also the time where ambivalence can potentially sabotage their efforts.

Action.   The stage that involves modifying behaviors such as applying and interviewing for jobs, or getting rid of junk food in the house.  It requires significant time and commitment to your goals.

Then, there’s Maintenance. Being cognizant of the gains you have made up to this point needs to be recognized as well as being aware of future challenges.  It is easy to relapse from this stage so strong commitment is imperative to keeping you on the right track.

Lastly, Termination.  If you’re breaking a bad habit or addiction then termination may either mean you’ve reached your goal and/or that you need to be sure to maintain this state for the rest of your life.  If your change was getting a dream job, or moving to another state, celebrate!  You’ve successfully reached the other side and can reap the benefits of your hard work, serious self-reflection and commitment to your dreams.

CategoryUncategorized | Comment1 Comment »

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June 30th, 2009

How to Cover a Blunder

A pimple can be covered with concealer but a blunder?  A blunder may need to be exposed no matter how unattractive it is to its beholder.  Whether you failed a test, stuck your foot in your mouth, hit send on an angry “I will never send” email, blunders are truth tellers and you’ll be better off listening to what they’re trying to say.

The hard part may be taking it.  Sure the lesson may be to spend more time checking your work in advance, or rereading your email, but your head may be saying, “You idiot!”  

So what do you do when you’ve encountered a personal blunder? 

While failing has the power to make others quit before they’re ahead, it fuels my fire.  Yes messing up doesn’t feel good but there are ways to get around it so that you get all the benefits of learning a lesson without torturing yourself to get there.

Get Physical!  “When the going gets tough, the tough gets moving.”  Get up and get out and do something!  I love zumba because it’s fun and challenging to the point that I can’t think about anything else but what I’m doing in the moment.  The key is to find something that changes your thinking from past thoughts “Why didn’t I?” to present minded thinking “What am I doing now?”

Forgive Yourself.  I’m sure we all know that no one is perfect. Yet, we often don’t give ourselves the break that we give others.  The next time you feel like you “messed up,” imagine what you would say to a friend and then say it to yourself.

Have Faith.  “It ain’t over ’til the _____.”  I once heard a quote that said if everything hasn’t worked itself out, then it isn’t over.  I agree.  You never know why whatever happened did.  Maybe you “messed up” an interview because subconsciously you didn’t really want it.  Or maybe you loss one job or relationship only to find a better one to come along later.  You never know what will happen or why it happens and it’s better that way.  Have faith that things happen for a reason, you may just not know what that is yet.

So the next time you are faced with a blunder, don’t hide from it, cover it up or pretend it doesn’t exist.  Instead, look it right in the face and say thank you because you never know what lessons it has in store for you.

CategoryInspirational Stories, job, Life, work | CommentNo Comments »

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June 27th, 2009

Risk it all to have it all

Life is scary. Life can be hard. And from what we do know, it doesn’t get any easier. So why do we do it? Why do we take risks, make that leap, dive into the unknown?

Simple. Because it’s worth it.

And it’s worth it not because it’s important to others or because of what it brings to us.  Money, prestige, awards, fame are all seemingly nice rewards for a job well done.  But the real thrill is “swallowing that jagged pill” because we are human and we can.

Life working in the cube was predictable, stable and comfortable.  But it was also boring, mind-numbing and unchallenging.  It took away all the great gifts we are endowed with being human.  There was no emotion involved, no fear of rejection, nor test of our worth.  In essence, it taught me what it would be like to be a computer.

While steady pay is always a great thing, it’s also important to remember who we are.  We’re built to be tough, to withstand hardship, to learn from our mistakes, and grow as individuals.  

This experience has taught me that no matter how scary it is to dive into the real world, I’d much rather take that risk then to deny myself the experience of being human.

Life is short.  And in the end, what will be the things we regret or wished we did?  The next time you’re faced with a challenge, remember that you’re already equipped to deal with it.  Take a chance and you will be rewarded.  Not with riches, prestige and fame (which may or may not come) but with the feeling of confidence that you can do anything and be anyone.  And that my friends, is a reward that is truly priceless.

Taking a Risk

CategoryInspirational Stories | Comment2 Comments »

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June 11th, 2009

Blissful Dream or Perfect Nightmare? You Get to Decide!

When my 9 to 5 is quickly putting me in humdrum mode, I dream about what I would do if I could do anything.  Sometimes I’m Carrie Bradshaw typing away on my Apple laptop and having lunches with friends and other times I envision working at a magazine.  Have you ever let your inner child loose too and imagined what it would be like if you could live the life of your wildest fantasies?  

If you have, I bet you never thought that you could actually make that dream come true.  And I’m talking everything from a chocolatier to a TV Producer.  “If you dream it, they will come.”

There’s a company called, “Vocation Vacations” that let you test-drive your dream job for one to three days.  This way you can actually make your dreams come true, experience the job for yourself and in the eyes of a mentor and then decide if it’s still a fantasy or a nightmare.

The downside?  The price is a bit steep ranging from $549-1199.  However, this might be worth the investment if it saves you time and money and furthers your decision to follow your dreams.  Check out their website for more info.

Categoryjob, Resources | CommentNo Comments »

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June 9th, 2009

Now What?!

You’ve done it!  You’ve made that big decision, dealt with your feelings of impending fear and doom, and you’ve acted on it.  So now what?!  

In Martha Beck’s book Finding Your Own North Star, that period between your old and new self is where “square one” takes place.  So if you’re experiencing even more fear now than before and questioning if you made the right decision, know that you’re on the right path.  Square one is all about figuring out who you are now.  

Now that for example, you’re _____ (Pregnant, married, divorced or unemployed?  Fill in the blank with your change in identity here.), you might feel like you’re going through an identity crisis.  This decision may have caused a change in who you thought you were or who you thought you would become.  

The best way to deal?  

  1. Look forward not behind.  Remind yourself of why you made the decision in the first place and focus on that.
  2. Get protected.  Protect yourself by surrounding yourself with others who have gone through similar circumstances or read about them in books or online.  Find great friends and loved ones who you can rely on to vent during these uncertain times.
  3. Be kind to yourself.  Know that what you’re feeling is normal and realize that you’ll eventually get through it.  Most importantly, it’ll be a whole lot easier, the faster you’re able to accept yourself and your situation.

Carmel

CategoryInspirational Stories, job, Life | CommentNo Comments »

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June 5th, 2009

Giving It All Up Ain't So Bad

You know the saying, “One door opens as another one closes,” or “let go and let God?” In the moment of surrender, our once empty hands often become filled with a life better than we had planned. Yet, in moments of despair all we want to do is hold on tight, grasping anything and everything around us.

When there is nothing visible in front of us, we can either blindly and courageously take the next step or we can turn around and return to the path we’ve already crossed. Each step either gets us that much closer to our goals or that much further away.

Recently, I spoke to a friend who decided to finally let go of a job that was holding her back. Although she was applying to other positions left and right, it was only after she made up her mind to resign from the former position, that a better offer came along.

I’ve heard this story multiple times before. It’s the story of how when Oprah finally surrendered and let go of her expectations to be in The Color Purple, that she scored the role.  Or how a guest on her show said he “gave up” on his dream that Oprah would see his performance in Chicago and then Gayle King showed up instead.

Sometimes the right decision is the one that is the scariest, that pulls us uncomfortably out of our comfort zones and face our own insecurities and self-doubt. Only when we let go, surrender and have faith will that unseen force materialize supporting our next step towards our dreams.

Sunset

CategoryFacing Fears, Inspirational Stories | Comment2 Comments »

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June 3rd, 2009

Facing Your Fears of Failure

I had a nightmare this morning.  I can’t remember the details but the main character in my dream, a monster made up of all hands was clear.  I was frightened by it and when I woke up realized its significance.  It represented failure.  

It got me thinking about the importance that the fear of failure plays in our life.  Sometimes our fear is so strong that it prevents us from fulfilling our dreams and ends up sabotaging our lives.  What can we do to combat our fears so that they don’t end up controlling us?

1.  Awareness.  Being clear about what our fears are is the first step.  Whether you do this through counseling, journal writing, or self-reflection through meditation, achieving an understanding of what it is you’re really afraid of is key.

2.  Befriend fear.  I used to have a reoccurring childhood dream that some kids were chasing me.  I told my dad about it and he said, “Did you know that you can control your dreams?  Next time, before you go to sleep, imagine a better ending and dream something good.”  I did just that and you know what?  That night, I dreamed that the two kids were chasing me to give me an ice cream cone.  Know that while fear is always present in our lives, we can control our reaction to it.  Instead of running away, focus on what the fear is trying to tell you and face it, you never know what gifts you’ll get out of that.  

3. Do your research!  Sometimes fear happens when we don’t have enough information.  Instead of focusing on failure, focus on the things you can do and the steps you can take to get you toward success.

4.  Fail.  We’re so afraid of failing so I say fail!  Yeah that’s right!  We need to get comfortable with failure so that it’s not so scary and so that it has less power over us.  Whether this means trying something you’re not good at, or playing out what would happen if you failed in your mind, taking the shock factor out of failure, may transform that big scary monster into something less intimidating.

5.  Take action!  The best way to deal with fear?  Do something!  If you’re afraid of failing at starting a business, for example, go out and talk to people who have succeeded.  Or are you afraid of failing an exam or presentation?    Then, spend time practicing.  The more time you spend taking action, even if small ones, the less chance you’ll be stuck paralyzed by fear.

CategoryFacing Fears | Comment1 Comment »

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