Posts tagged ‘Positive thinking’

October 14th, 2009

Sacrifice, Sweat & Sweet Surrender

The S words I’m quite familiar with as a wannabe writer.  Here’s the rocky road of one dream pursuer.  It’s not always easy.  In the November 2009 issue of O, Oprah says, “What has made me successful is the ability to surrender my plans, dreams, and goals to a power that’s greater than other people and greater than myself.”

The hard part of that beautiful quote is the surrender part.  Surrendering to what is and the possibility of what life can be is in great contrast to the shallow and often shaky dreams we believe will make us happy.  What I’m learning on this very unpredictable and sometimes heartbreaking path is that success is another falsitude.  If I’m dependent on external sources, positive feedback, and even job offers to make me believe that I’m healthy, wealthy and wise, then that happiness will be short-lived.

What an invaluable lesson that is.  It is worth it’s wait in unpaid credit card bills, dreams of home ownership, and frequent trips abroad.

Here’s what’s key:  There is a big, gigantic even, purpose waiting for all of us.  We are here for a reason.  There is much truth in what Oprah says.  Maybe if we let go of the dream we think we need to be happy, we can surrender to and embrace a bigger dream.

I’m learning to not base my self-worth on the feedback I get from the outside world, which is a hard feat for a writer. But I also realized the harm that it does not only on myself, but on my future self.  To get from here to where I want to be, I need to learn how to accept every moment-even if it’s a moment I’d rather not be experiencing.

The result? I feel a whole lot lighter, more hopeful and positive about the future and willing to let life play out for itself.  I’m still working as hard as ever but also realizing that I don’t need positive responses to feel positive as a writer.

Happy Face

September 21st, 2009

Taking Reader Requests

Since this week is showing itself to be a busy one, I decided to feed two birds with one bread (a.k.a. kill two birds with one stone).  I’m taking up a suggestion from one 2inspired reader Bridget by keeping this one short and sweet and by following an friend’s email challenge she sent today.  So here goes:

In honor of World Gratitude day, I’m taking part in my friend Lea’s Gratitude Challenge.  This means for 21 days I’m going to take note of all the things in my life that I have to be grateful for (something tells me that there will be a lot). You can download the Gratitude Challenge calendar on the website or be like Oprah and write about it in a daily gratitude journal.  I’m opting for the latter.

Anyway, in honor of World Gratitude Day, what do YOU have to be grateful for?
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July 7th, 2009

In the meantime, in between time

Sometimes you know where you want to be but you just can’t get there yet.  You might be working at a job you hate or in a relationship that’s not working. That’s okay.  You can still get to your dream and live in the moment now, no matter how sucky that now might be.  

The time between now and then may seem like eons away.  When you’re staring at the gold at the end of the rainbow but you’re standing under some gray clouds and rain, your present moment may not seem as dreamy as you’d wish it to be.  

So what do you do to stay focused on your far away dreams?

Stay positive.  Watch funny movies.  Call your funny friends.  And remember to surround yourself with as much positivity as you can stand.  It’s going to be rough in the meantime, so at least have some fun along the way.

Stay present but remain focused on the goal.  Some days may be harder than others to get through the day.  When I was feeling stuck at my 9-5 job, I used my lunch hour to read books on following my dreams and strategized how I would get there.  I had a plan and a timeline.  This helped me to stay focus on my future goals and prevented me from getting overwhelmed by the difficulties of daily life.

Try to find the silver lining.  Maybe your job, relationship, etc. isn’t the greatest, but you’re going through it for a reason.  Try to figure out what this situation is trying to teach you so that you can learn from the situation.

In the meantimes are always rough.  I know because I’ve had my share.  Remember to be kind to yourself during this time and know that like everything else, “this too shall pass.”

June 29th, 2009

Fear of Asking for What You Want

Whether it’s asking for a raise, a job, time off, or time alone, why are we so reluctant to ask for what we really need?  

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  In the past, I debated whether to ask for more pay at a job and the fear nearly paralyzed me.  Although I eventually gained the courage to ask, I wondered why we often avoid asking for what we want?  Is the fear greater than our need?

Fear of Disappointment.  I believe part of of our fear derives from past fears of rejection.  When we were younger, we may have asked for something as small as a bike or as big as time with our parents only to end up being disappointed.  Not asking may be a way to avoid reliving these hurt feelings.

Fear of Rejection.  Whether it reminds us of our first heartbreak or loss of a job, when we ask for what we want and get turned down, it can feel like a rejection of who we are.

Feelings of Unworthiness.  Sometimes we don’t ask because we think we don’t deserve it.  Why should we for example, ask to live the life of our dreams?  Who are we to do it when everyone else  has to suck it up and slave away at their 9 to 5 jobs?

So what do we do when we feel unworthy, fear disappointment or rejection?

Stay positive.  Negative thoughts and ruminating, makes facing your fears even more challenging.  Instead try to tell yourself that getting rejecting by ___ is not a rejection of yourself and that in the end everything will turn out for the better. For affirmations, check out Wayne Dyer’s Motivational Affirmations taken from his book Excuses Begone! at Beliefnet.com.

Make it impersonal.  Sometimes when we avoid asking for what we want, what we’re really afraid of is being judged or criticized for who we are.  Remember that getting turned down for whatever it is (a date, job, etc.) has less do with us and more to with the individual.  They may not like your writing style or your hairstyle, but someone else will.  The best way to deal with this is to not take things personally.

Feeling Worthy.  Remember that you are worthy of asking for what you want.  You were born with the same rights, potential and possibilities as anyone else.  You have every right to ask for what you want in life.  And if you have trouble swallowing this one, think about someone you admire and then ask whether or not they deserve to ask the same question.

The only way to get what we want is to ask for it.  Practicing these steps, learning to trust our instincts, and having faith, will help give us courage to ask the questions that will get us to our dreams.

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