Posts tagged ‘The Joy Diet’

May 12th, 2010

The Importance of Connection: Week #9

I find it ironic or dare I say, “serendipitous” that something occurs every week that coincides with The Joy Diet. And this week was no different. One of my challenges has been feeling disconnected-the downside of working at home and getting deep into social media. I’ve gotten great at the daily tweets or Facebook comments online, but in the real world, I’ve shied away from TMRI or too much real interaction.

Why is disconnection so common?

According to Beck, it’s the risk we take when two people become three-a dynamic that can make us vulnerable to things like heartbreak and rejection. Yet, connecting with others is the very thing we need the most. Supportive relationships are what helps take us through the “not so perfect now” to the life of our dreams.

In order to tackle this ugly monster, I’ve been practicing diligently like the “good” student I am by doing nothing, being honest, and taking small risks on a daily basis.

In honest language, this means I’ve stared off in space while I waited for things to happen (my husband to come back to the car, the computer to stop thinking, etc.). It also means that I’ve been brutally honest about my life and the choices I’m making in the present moment to create my future reality.

And the risks?

Beck tells us to try to do nothing in relationships with others. I’ve been spending more time focusing on listening to others rather than worrying about responding. Although I haven’t always been successful, I notice that during moments when I can fully be present, I feel less stressed in the conversation and more compassionate about who I’m listening too.

Another serendipitous moment?

Yes it’s another one! Recently, a dream came true when I started “chatting” via twitter with one of my role models and inspiring author of this book (I think I’ve laughed and cried from laughing on almost all of her books.) Martha Beck. I’m sure she’s someone with the kind of generous spirit that will chat with anyone, but I can’t tell you how much my spirit lifted and my heart soared. I took a giant risk, for me anyway, to contact her. And I felt validated, in fact, I felt “heard” just like what she talks about in chapter 9 and just like my favorite scene in the movie Avatar.

In fact, I’m starting to wonder what it would be like if we all stopped focusing on our own insecurities, doubts and worries and focus entirely on the person right in front of us.

We might just become more happy, compassionate and connected beings.

In case you’re curious…

Here’s a snippet of my brief chat with Ms. Martha Beck:

ME: Thanks you for making my day! I’m heavily into, “The Joy Diet” and can’t tell you what a difference it has already made.

MB: At the risk of sounding like a dork, it’s people like YOU who inspire ME!

CategoryBook Reviews, Following your dreams | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
May 4th, 2010

Week 8: The Joy of Laughter

A few nights ago, I was on the phone with my mom. It was 11:30 at night and after a week of freelance work, I was pooped. The kind of tired that makes you slur like a/your drunk. It also made me spontaneously guffaw. Sure laughing while conversing with your parent doesn’t seem abnormal, but it was the context that was odd. I was getting her credit card information and suddenly a giggle escaped from my mouth. It startled me so much that I quickly covered it up with a cough. The strange incident got me perplexed until I read, “Chapter 8: Laughter” of Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet.

According to Beck, we should be hee-hawing and guffawing 30x’s in a day! Laughing clears the tension, unclogs feelings of anxiety and brings you closer to a more authentic life. Since I made that leap from corporate cubicle to work-at-home freelancing, however laughing is harder to come by. I think my unexpected chortle a few nights ago was the result of my soul not getting its daily shot of laughter.

This exercise got me reminiscing about my earlier laughing years. While it was not always fun and games, I remember chuckling quite often. I once laughed and could not stop laughing for no real reason (laughing strategy 5) when my dorm mate was taking a nap. Another time, I cracked up when as a band leader (yes I was a band geek), I forgot everyone’s music in my section. We faked it the entire performance! And there have been thousands of times I laughed at myself (laughing strategy 6)-when I fell down flat on my face or when I took belly dancing for the first time and saw how dumb I looked trying to shake my belly. Beck says we laugh at the most anxiety provoking times, which explains why we sometimes burst out in laughter at the most serious moments. My cousins and I couldn’t stop laughing, for example, at our grandfather’s funeral. We weren’t trying to be disrespectful. I think the emotions were too intense for our young selves and laughing was the best remedy.

Nowadays laughter seems to seep out in surprising places especially when I don’t make the time for a good guffaw. How many of you are doing the same? Taking life just a bit too seriously and not taking fun and laughter seriously enough?

When I thought about the “dramas” in my life the last few weeks and saw it through the eyes of humor, I felt the weight lift from my shoulders. My ‘aha’ moment was realizing that almost nothing was so serious that I couldn’t laugh my way out of.

Try it for yourself.

The good news is laughing is fun, it does not take money and is not hard.

  • Make a point to spend time with funny people, watch movies, television shows, read books and articles to make you laugh and see if you find the solution to a pressing problem, feel less heavy and closer to feeling more joyful.

Get started with this:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clw7SAJs_6w]

CategoryHappiness | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
April 24th, 2010

How Goofing Off Can Make You More Productive

I’m stuck on item #6 of The Joy Diet and would like to stay here awhile please. Making 2 treats a part of my every day has been a blessing. Not just for my soul, but for my wallet too.

Sometimes we get so focused on our goals or obsessed with daily superficialities (iphone, ipads, gossip, buying a home, etc.) that we lose sight of the here and now. This actually works against us and our ultimate goals-to be happy, successful and to feel whole.

I know because I’ve been a workaholic lately. Digging my nails deep into the present and throwing it all in there. I’ve been reading books and articles online, crafting not2shabby things and taking classes all in the hope of making me better at something. I ended up spreading myself thin with nothing left to give and worse-with nothing left to show for it.

Have you ever been there before?

Sometimes like the empty room in a home that needs to be filled we allow worry and fear to inhabit it instead of giving time, patience and faith to let things fill it organically.

Know what I mean?

It’s what happens when an empty dining room table gets replaced with junk or why the fear of no job/relationship makes way for jobs/relationships you don’t want. Out of fear comes desperation and more things we don’t want or need in our lives. Out of faith comes the life we’re destined to live. The latter takes courage to get there.

Goofing off helps.

Last week of The Joy Diet was an easy one. And surprisingly it brought my passion back. I stopped crafting, writing, and reading things related to my career. Instead, I flipped through fun magazines and watched a few episodes of Oprah. It just so happens that I caught two shows related to my passions (Earth Day and a show about people in their dream jobs). It reminded me about my passion to help the environment, why I write, and why I sacrifice time and money to do what I do. It inspired me to write this post and gave me the hope I needed to continue on the journey in faith, not fear.

Here’s a Joy Diet Challenge:

Take an hour or a few hours a day or even a week if you can and devote the time solely to you and your passion. It could be riding a bike, taking a hike, rediscovering your love for art by visiting a museum or watching a movie. Just do something unrelated to your career. Have fun and you’ll see passion, excitement and joy returning to your life-the fuel necessary to help manifest the life of your dreams.

CategoryFollowing your dreams | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
April 21st, 2010

Happy Earth Day 2010!

Earth Day is the one day we have to celebrate someone pretty special. It’s probably not coincidental that it’s celebrated so close to our other mother’s special day, Mother’s Day. They’re two very important people.

But here’s another coincidence or do I dare say serendipitous event-it’s also treat week, the 6th item of The Joy Diet.

How does it relate to this earth-friendly holiday?

Martha asks us to list 10 things that make us smile. I discovered that the majority of what was on my list were things like, “Feeling the sunshine on my face, hearing the sound of the wind as it flows through the trees, digging my toes through the sand at the beach, and smelling that warm salty air of the ocean.”

Surprised? It surprised me too.

I thought for sure somewhere on the list would be winning a large amount of money, taking a trip to Europe, getting a full spa day, or at the very least eating my favorite junk foods. But when push came to shove I realized that it’s the small every day things that cause my frown to turn upside down.

What would we do without our mother earth?

I’d smile a lot less for sure. Anyway you look at it, there is only one earth. I hope on this day, we can all do something big and small (reuse items or use less toilet paper/napkins e.g.) to make a difference to our one planet.

If you’re in need of some inspiration, check out this video from Ted.com. Artist, and photographer Chris Jordan will easily make you rethink your often unconscious, yet unthinkable long-term actions to the earth. He gives us a visual representation of what earth day really means.

In the meantime, I’ll be thinking up new repurposing ideas, trying to shut down my computer more so I can spend more time appreciating the earth. And this week in particular, I’ll be giving myself two treats a day for the Joy Diet. I’m on my way to the ultimate goal of experiencing more joy!

[ted id=279]

CategoryHolidays | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
March 18th, 2010

Day 3 of the Joy Diet

Well I’ve made it half way through the first week. I’ll admit that this is the easiest diet I’ve been on physically, but the most challenging mentally.

The difference between a joy diet and a food one? I’m not depriving myself of anything, except maybe 15 min of my time.

The hard part? Convincing myself I get to feel joy by doing nothing.

So yesterday, I didn’t make my 10:00 pm appointment with me, myself and I. At this point, I’m laughing at how crazy it is that I can’t fit in a mere 15 minutes of doing nothing into my day. Anyway, I finally found it at 11:45 pm last night.

The honest truth? Even though I’ve had an impressive experience so far, the whole day I was actually dreading it. Now that the novelty of nothing was wearing off, would I still enjoy it or would it be pure silent torture?

The reality. I was working on an article about my dog, talking to my mom to get more information. After I got off the phone with her, I was consumed with guilt. The guilt for not being there when my dog passed. It was a horrible feeling and then worse I thought, “Now I have to go sit in a corner for 15 min and think about nothing!” (Add dramatic sigh here.)

The outcome. Doing nothing couldn’t have came at a better time actually. Sitting in silence, thoughts came flooding to me (as I expected). What I didn’t expect were that the thoughts would be comforting ones. Things like, “You couldn’t have done anything if you were there. She knew you loved her. Things happen for a reason and everything is the way it should be” starting flowing into my mind. Then a peace settled on me. It was a soothing balm that my wounded heart needed. Afterwards I fell into a sea of nothingness where I was neither awake nor asleep.

The bottom line: I might not have felt joy, but I definitely felt peace. Looking forward to trying it again tonight.

CategoryHappiness | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
March 15th, 2010

A Joyful Diet

A joyful diet sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it? But as spring approaches, I’m dieting to find out.

First of all, I have to say I’m not a dieting girl. Every time I attempt to go on a diet, it lasts all of 6 hours and then I’m spent. I think the problem is that most diets are all about deprivation. And frankly, I don’t have the time and energy for that.

But JOY?! That I could get into. Especially since the person who wrote it is one of my favorite authors: life coach, O magazine contributor and best-selling author Ms. Martha Beck.

After reading two of her books, I was craving more. More importantly joy is actually something I wouldn’t mind going on a diet for.

So here’s the deal:

There’s 10 tips for Martha Beck’s Joy Diet. I’m going to try it, one a week for the next 10 weeks and see if it brings me more joy.

Are you in?

You can follow along here or get your own book (The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life) and try it with me.

*Haven’t forgot about my BIG surprise yet? Have you? Well stick around because I’m unveiling the green treat this Wednesday, March 17th.

CategoryBook Reviews, Happiness, How to | Comment1 Comment »

Tags: