Posts tagged ‘Taking risks’

May 12th, 2010

The Importance of Connection: Week #9

I find it ironic or dare I say, “serendipitous” that something occurs every week that coincides with The Joy Diet. And this week was no different. One of my challenges has been feeling disconnected-the downside of working at home and getting deep into social media. I’ve gotten great at the daily tweets or Facebook comments online, but in the real world, I’ve shied away from TMRI or too much real interaction.

Why is disconnection so common?

According to Beck, it’s the risk we take when two people become three-a dynamic that can make us vulnerable to things like heartbreak and rejection. Yet, connecting with others is the very thing we need the most. Supportive relationships are what helps take us through the “not so perfect now” to the life of our dreams.

In order to tackle this ugly monster, I’ve been practicing diligently like the “good” student I am by doing nothing, being honest, and taking small risks on a daily basis.

In honest language, this means I’ve stared off in space while I waited for things to happen (my husband to come back to the car, the computer to stop thinking, etc.). It also means that I’ve been brutally honest about my life and the choices I’m making in the present moment to create my future reality.

And the risks?

Beck tells us to try to do nothing in relationships with others. I’ve been spending more time focusing on listening to others rather than worrying about responding. Although I haven’t always been successful, I notice that during moments when I can fully be present, I feel less stressed in the conversation and more compassionate about who I’m listening too.

Another serendipitous moment?

Yes it’s another one! Recently, a dream came true when I started “chatting” via twitter with one of my role models and inspiring author of this book (I think I’ve laughed and cried from laughing on almost all of her books.) Martha Beck. I’m sure she’s someone with the kind of generous spirit that will chat with anyone, but I can’t tell you how much my spirit lifted and my heart soared. I took a giant risk, for me anyway, to contact her. And I felt validated, in fact, I felt “heard” just like what she talks about in chapter 9 and just like my favorite scene in the movie Avatar.

In fact, I’m starting to wonder what it would be like if we all stopped focusing on our own insecurities, doubts and worries and focus entirely on the person right in front of us.

We might just become more happy, compassionate and connected beings.

In case you’re curious…

Here’s a snippet of my brief chat with Ms. Martha Beck:

ME: Thanks you for making my day! I’m heavily into, “The Joy Diet” and can’t tell you what a difference it has already made.

MB: At the risk of sounding like a dork, it’s people like YOU who inspire ME!

CategoryBook Reviews, Following your dreams | CommentNo Comments »

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April 15th, 2010

Week #5: Risk

I pulled out a fortune from a cookie a few months ago and it read, “Your courage will reap rewards for you.” It’s a perfect statement to describe this week’s focus of The Joy Diet. In week #4, Ms. Martha had us visualizing our desires, now we have to put our money where our mouth is.

I’ve already been inspired by the Oprah show recently, when Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin empire, was on. This adventurous dude who is one of the most wealthiest people in the world and has his own private island, believes in going for your dreams and he does so in a way that would make most people blush, then faint. Somehow I think he follows this week’s goal to a tee.

Although I’m not Sir Branson-ready, I do feel in the mood to walk through a few first to get to my dreams. It may be the reason why I turned into Jim Carrey’s character in The Yes Man recently. Saying ‘yes’ to something I normally wouldn’t do.

I agreed to walk around my community selling ads for a local newspaper. While I’m not necessarily (I’ll use Sir Branson’s word) virgin in this area, I don’t get excited about doing it. I don’t think any introvert would. But I said, “Yes!” I took the challenge, walking through 15 shops in 1 afternoon.

I’m not going to lie and tell you my life was forever changed, cause it wasn’t. But I did get something out of it. As I willingly took the role as a salesman for the day, I saw people change how they reacted to me. While most of the people I met were kind, a lot of them (who I’ve interacted before as a consumer) went in hiding-literally not wanting to talk to me or were quick to brush me aside. I learned two things: 1) how to become a better salesman 2) that it really didn’t matter how people perceived me. I was just playing a role. They weren’t rejecting me. They were rejecting what I was selling.

It may sound like common sense, but for someone who makes a living as a freelance writer, getting rejected is a daily, soul-crunching experience. Taking a risk and getting rejected for something less personal, empowered me. I realized that like being a salesman, a writer was just another one of my roles. It wasn’t who I was. It was something I did. And in this business we call life, taking a risk, and risking rejection is the only way we can find success and ultimately happiness.

What’s the next item on my risk list?

  1. Writing a book

I know this one seems kind of wild and crazy. But the good thing is that Martha lets us break up the risk into small steps so it feels less intimidating. For now, I’m going to just research classes on writing books and read other books created by the publisher I’m interested in. Then see what happens next. Hey if I fall and crash and burn, at least you’ll know I gave it my all and tried.

If you really want to find joy and achieve your dreams, you’re going to have to work for it. And this week’s work is all about how much you’re willing to risk.

What are you willing to risk this week?

CategoryFollowing your dreams, Inspirational Stories | CommentNo Comments »

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January 4th, 2010

Life Tasks to Uncover Your Dreams

It’s 2010. Do you know where your dreams are?

As for me, I’ve been stumbling. Faltering like the imperfect soul I am to find peace, inspiration and follow my dreams. In one year, what have I learned?

It takes real work to get to your dreams.

It takes physical work.

The kind that uses your muscles and sweat to get rid of old things. Decluttering. Finally saying sayonara to old letters, sweaters you bought a year ago and never used. Books you tried to finish but could never get past those first few pages. Oh and maybe a bit of exercising too! I spent a few years taking zumba and have literally felt the stress sweat out of me.

It takes mental work too.

Finding happiness and searching for your purpose involves a lot of painful mental work. Digging into the hard stuff like uncovering your greatest flaws, admitting to mistakes and accepting yourself in the process are utterly exhausting. So if you’ve already begun the process, you deserve a medal, or a spa day or a giant cookie. You do. You really do!

It takes seeing outside of the box.

Sometimes on our life paths, we fail to see outside the lines. Why do so when it’s so safe and comfy here? Well for one, life is so much more magical when we open ourselves up to possibilities instead of limitations. What I learned last year was that I could give up the expectation that I had to have a full-time corporate job in order to make a living. Just what if I could do something I truly loved and make money from it? While I’ve also learned that it ain’t easy, I’ve also discovered it’s very possible.

It takes courage.

Oh there are so many reasons not to follow your dreams! There’s money, fear of the unknown, self-doubt, economy, etc. I could go on and on. But you only really need one reason to keep going-fulfillment. I like to think of it as feeling fully filled in love, passion and inspiration. When every ounce of your being is saying, “Yes! This feels right!”

It takes some risk-taking!

You could be happy living a safe life, but happiness is fleeting. A life fulfilled that challenges us to live our highest potential, well that’s a life filled with miracles, magic and authentic living. But it involves lots of risk-taking. I love reading about Walt Disney and how he risked everything to follow his dreams. He didn’t have enough money for food or shelter and yet he gave everything he had to make his passion a reality. Some probably called him crazy. But they would later call him genius.

It takes letting go.

Part of the process is learning how to let go. Letting go of who you were (2009 schmuck) to enable you to be the person you were destined to be (2010 star!). Learn how to let go of relationships, jobs and even environments that are toxic and you’ll be leaving room for the positive, happy you you’ve been waiting for.

What about you?

What things did you discover about yourself this year? Has it helped you get closer to your dreams? Please share!

CategoryFollowing your dreams | Comment1 Comment »

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August 18th, 2009

Playing Limbo With My Life

Have you ever been stuck with one foot in the door and the other one behind holding you back?  Well I have!  In fact, I had a friend once tell me in impatience that I need to learn how to make decisions and stick by it regardless of the outcome.  But deciding what to do when you can’t predict what will happen next is a doozy of a decision.

I was in limbo, for example, going back and forth like a tennis ball when desperately contemplating whether I should stay at my job or leave.  My indecision left everyone dizzy.  Some days I was all for it-screw that job I’d say!  Other days I thought, “Well if only I could tough it out just one more day.”

The same crazy back and forth decision-making process throws me for a loop everytime.  Should I quit?  Should I stay?  Should I move?  Should I stay?  Basically I’m asking, “Should I go or should I stay?”  Yes, stability, sameness, similarity (the 3’s) are all about feeling (here’s another one) safe.  I know where I am now.  I know who I’m dealing with now and I have some sort of pseudo control over what I am going through.  But if I take that step and drag that back leg forward and jump, will I be making the biggest mistake of my life?  Will I one day regret this move?  Will I one day ask myself why I couldn’t have been comfortable in my comfort zone?

The scary part is that there are no answers.  There’s no guidebook or instruction booklet like a recipe that you can follow word for word or a person, place or thing you can hold responsible when everything goes up in flames.  Perhaps, that’s what being human means.  Having the courage to know what we’re jumping into and jumping in anyway.

Although I’m still swinging back and forth in my decisions, I’m learning to enjoy the ride.  It also helps when I realize how many big jumps I’ve already made and far I’ve already come.  It’s kind of like taking a hike up a steep mountain.  You may not know what’s ahead or if you’ll even like it, but you can turn around and see how far you’ve already come.   And in that, you can keep treading ahead, stronger and wiser.

It’s all about listening to that quiet but clear voice.  The one that gets smothered by the “what if’s” and “shoulds” of the world.  I think we all know what we have to do.  When we listen to it, we make that big leap a whole lot smaller.

CategoryFacing Fears, Following your dreams, How to, Inspirational Stories | CommentNo Comments »

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July 2nd, 2009

Are you a cat or a dog?

My co-worker yesterday told me that he was half-cat.  Knowing he wasn’t crazy, I asked him to clarify.  He said he lived life thinking that he had at least 3 more to go.  “Ah!” I said.  Now I get it.  I told him, “Well I’m a dog then.  Cause I live life like I only have one.”  

How do you live your life?  

Are you still waiting for life to happen to you?  Feel like you have forever and a day to make that dream come true?  For all we know, we only have one life so we might as well live it to the fullest. 

A dog's life

CategoryInspirational Stories, Life, work | CommentNo Comments »

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June 27th, 2009

Risk it all to have it all

Life is scary. Life can be hard. And from what we do know, it doesn’t get any easier. So why do we do it? Why do we take risks, make that leap, dive into the unknown?

Simple. Because it’s worth it.

And it’s worth it not because it’s important to others or because of what it brings to us.  Money, prestige, awards, fame are all seemingly nice rewards for a job well done.  But the real thrill is “swallowing that jagged pill” because we are human and we can.

Life working in the cube was predictable, stable and comfortable.  But it was also boring, mind-numbing and unchallenging.  It took away all the great gifts we are endowed with being human.  There was no emotion involved, no fear of rejection, nor test of our worth.  In essence, it taught me what it would be like to be a computer.

While steady pay is always a great thing, it’s also important to remember who we are.  We’re built to be tough, to withstand hardship, to learn from our mistakes, and grow as individuals.  

This experience has taught me that no matter how scary it is to dive into the real world, I’d much rather take that risk then to deny myself the experience of being human.

Life is short.  And in the end, what will be the things we regret or wished we did?  The next time you’re faced with a challenge, remember that you’re already equipped to deal with it.  Take a chance and you will be rewarded.  Not with riches, prestige and fame (which may or may not come) but with the feeling of confidence that you can do anything and be anyone.  And that my friends, is a reward that is truly priceless.

Taking a Risk

CategoryInspirational Stories | Comment2 Comments »

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