July 6th, 2010

A Rock and a Hard Place: How to Make Tough Decisions

Ever have a heart thumping, nail biting, head scratching decision that you just couldn’t make? Where saying, “yes” means saying “no” to something you love and saying “no” does the same thing?

Yep, being stuck between a rock and a hard place is one of the worst places to be in especially when it comes to making a life-changing decision.

When either decision leads to a path unknown, it’s kind of scary to take that leap. And if we don’t? If we stay small, do nothing and avoid making a choice at all cost, the decision will be made for us.

So we either take a risk, sacrifice something good in the process or stay where we are and never grow.

Hard one huh.

What would you do?

  1. When making a decision like that, I go through a decision-making process. It starts with an ole pros and cons list. But truthfully those really don’t help me. It’s a great way to begin to visually put all your cards on the table. For example, should I quit this job that’s not a good fit? A pro could be more free time. A con would be less money. Those lists just put me on a never ending roller coaster ride with my emotions and no one wins.
  2. Then I give in to my self-indulgent side and begin getting feedback from my community. I talk with friends who are more logical than me and others who are as emotional and intuitive as me. In the end, I usually feel more confused than ever. Yet, it’s all part of the process.
  3. After I’ve done my research (listen to others, listen to myself), I sit and do nothing. That’s right. I do everything BUT think about that decision. I read. I play. I bike ride. I meditate.
  4. Then, I listen to my inner truth. The part of me that already knew what I would do in the first place. This happens by slowly and ever so carefully removing other people’s feelings, obligations, my own guilt from the equation, until all that’s left is my own voice. I ask myself, “What would you do if you didn’t care about anything else, but what you want?” I visualize making that decision and I focus in on how I feel physically and emotionally. Then, it’s clear.
  5. All that’s left are having the courage to make that decision, trusting the process, and accepting the result no matter what it is.

So that’s how I handle a tough decision. What about you? What do you do when you feel like you’re in between a rock and a hard place?

CategoryHow to | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
July 5th, 2010

Surefire Ways to Burn Out, Pt.2: A Few Dream Busters

I had such a great time sharing part one of ways to burn out, I’m back again for a another round. So here we go!

  1. Bring your bad attitude wherever you go. Remember my past post about Mike Rowe and his awesome show Dirty Jobs? Those workers could do the dirtiest jobs with enthusiasm because they brought their passion wherever they went. The opposite is true too. Want to burn out and get yourself fired? Bring your unhappiness to your job and it’ll feel a million times worse being there. I once had a Japanese teacher who told us to leave our baggage outside the door so that when we entered we’d be fresh and ready to learn. While it’s not always easy to do so, being present, mindful and showing a good attitude while you’re at work, can potentially propel you into something better. Being angry, disgruntled and negative can make you miserable and eventually lead to a fast track path to burning out.
  2. Be boring. Do the same thing every day all the time. Don’t ever have any fun and be as dull as you can be. Work until you can’t work no more, then work again for good measure. Do that and you’ll need a vacation ASAP!
  3. Stay safe. Stay in your comfort zone too long and spider webs will grow on your dreams. You’ll start losing hope, have less faith and your potential for self-growth and happiness will begin shrinking all around you. Giving up is next and that’s when burnout sets in.
  4. Sit under the sun too long without any protection. The opposite of staying safe is to go out of your comfort zone too much and too often. I once had a job where I was battling my inner fears on a day to day basis. The stress not only attacked my insides, but they didn’t give me a chance to refuel, reboot and recharge either. The result? Well, you can guess what happened next. How do you protect yourself from feeling too stressed? Social support. Breaks. Adequate safety from supervisors, mentors, anyone in a position that can lend a hand. It may also mean a change is necessary, which leads me to this:

Here’s the deal. Sometimes burning out can be a good thing. It can be a sign that it’s time to move on. Maybe you’ve stayed safe too long. Maybe you’ve allowed fear to paralyze you from taking action and burning out is the sign that you’re ready to confront that fear and make a change. It could also just mean you need a break. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take some time to figure out what it’s telling you. Just like a fever is your body’s way of saying you need to rest, burning out is a signal that something’s not right. An internal and emotional shift may be necessary to put you right back on track.

*Appreciate my quirky photos? Check out my store to see even more. And if you like what you see (and I really really hope you do), you can subscribe to my posts to get them sent to you! Thanks for reading!

CategoryFacing Fears | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
July 1st, 2010

A Surefire Way to Burn Out, Pt.1

Yep it’s summer! July 1st only a handful of days left until 4th of July! But before you go firing up the grill and roasting those marshmallows, listen up. Yes you want to soak up the rays of that gorgeous summer sun, but not only should you protect yourself from sunburn, but also from burn out.

Here are a few things you DON’T want to do to make sure you’re not partied out before the party (your dream life) starts:

  1. Put all your party eggs in one basket. Here’s what that means. Yes, you want to become the best writer there ever was or the most successful teacher or talk show host or self-help guru on this planet. Here’s the thing though. Crawling in a hole and surrounding yourself with all things related to your one dream, is not just insanely boring, but it’s one step toward the death of your dream. Yes, it’s important to learn and know everything you can about your passion, but filling your brain up with it is also a surefire way to kill it. Keep informed. Learned what you must. Talk with those interested in your passion as well. But then, go out, chat with non-writers, be among the rest of the world, stick your head out from under the ground long enough to smell the sweet flowers around you. Then, go back and dive in!
  2. Make everyone your God. Yes sometimes I fall for it too. When times get tough, the weak get listening. And at times our ears fall on the grand population whose words swallow our own. While I think it’s good to learn and observe from those we admire, we also need to keep our own thoughts and good advice in check. A successful guru can chant all he wants about his great pyramid or his gargantuan empire, but in reality we need to live our own lives. So unless you want to give up too early on your dreams, listen compassionately, filter and find what feels right for you.

Sorry guys that’s it for now! Will be back next week for more ways to tip the scale towards burn out. I’ll be on an interview so wish me luck. (Trying not too put all my party eggs in one basket here.)

CategoryFollowing your dreams | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
June 28th, 2010

Monday Made Musical

It’s Monday. Do you know where your inspiration is? If it’s hiding under a rock and you’re feeling anything, but inspired, take note. I’ve found a way to add a little inspiration to Mondays to make it, well just a little less difficult. My solution to the Monday blues? Music. Inspirational music, that is.

Here is my playlist of songs to get you motivated, dream BIG and get back on course so that the rest of your week will be joyful, fulfilling and inspiring. P.S. Make sure to share some of your favorite inspirational songs too! I’m always looking for inspiring new songs to add to my iPod.

Colbie Caillat Don’t Hold Me Down

If you’re struggling to be positive and happy among negative and critical people, this is a sunny song to empower you to keep going, be strong, and follow your own path.

Avril Lavigne Tomorrow

For a really tough Monday. The kind of Monday filled with sorrow, grief and uncertainty. It’s good to remember that you can try again tomorrow. Aren’t we grateful for that?

Jason Mraz The Remedy

The world getting you worried? Your dreams getting you stressed? What’s the solution? The remedy is this uplifting ditty.

Alicia Keys Superwoman

Trying your best to be a friend, mom, sister, niece, employee, daughter, while still being the best “you” possible? Feel empowered in this soulful song and remember how powerful/strong you already are.

Corinne Bailey Rae Put Your Records On

Another fun, summery song, that sings about hope, relaxing, dreaming and not worrying.

Five for Fighting The Riddle

This song always puts life in perspective to me. Maybe we don’t have the biggest house or car or the best clothes/bags/shoes out there. But the most important thing in life are hidden in the riddle of this song: love.

Natashia Bedingfield Unwritten

If you’re still not sure what you’re purpose in life is, feel free and alive with this inspiring song. It’s all about hope, purpose and the possibility of life itself.

Alicia Keys and Bono Don’t Give Up

Failing, making mistakes, being rejected. Those are hard things to swallow. But I’m a firm believer that those difficulties are opportunities waiting to be taken. Sometimes we’re right on the edge of solving that problem, discovering our purpose, passing that test. We just need to keep going, pass those hurdles to get to the other side. This song will encourage you to keep pressing on during those difficult times when you want to throw in the towel and give up.

CategoryResources | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
June 24th, 2010

The Nostradamus Effect

What do you think of Nostradamus? Inspiring predictor? Prophet? A guy who caused a big hullabaloo about nothing? Maybe all of the above? Well, I’ve got another confession to make. I’m sort of a believer. Unless it’s just that the History channel’s got power’s of manipulation greater than Luke Skywalker and can make me believe just about anything. It could be. I never believed those signs saying, “The End of the World is Coming” before.

Whatever it is, it’s got me a little freaked. I keep thinking, “Okay I got 2 years! What can I do with 2 years!!” Well actually according to Nostradamus, we actually have until December 21, 2012 so we’ve got little more than that. Time until outer space attacks, we get consumed by volcanoes and tidal waves and some unknown disease gets us all. {Great and I thought the ending of the Oprah show was going to kill me!}

Actually the effect of being scared out of my mind by tonight’s show did wonders to my sense of motivation. Even if you’re not a believer and even if the world won’t end in a few years, we’re still on loan here. I hate to break it to you, but we just don’t know when we’re going to leave this good earth.

Here’s another thing. Maybe being on the threshold of time can work in our favor. Instead of looking at your life as a large, endless playing field, why not shorten the end date and get cracking on all the things you’ve ever wanted to do? Of course, I’m going to help you a little with that.

Here are a few resources to get you in gear. Let the countdown begin!

  1. If you’re not ready for change, do this: Write it down. You don’t have to do anything more than that. Just getting your dreams down on paper starts a weird-I-can’t-really-explain-it process that leads you to your goals. Want evidence? A little less than 10 years ago, I wrote in my journal 10 things I wanted to do before I died (kind of like a bucket list). I was shocked by what I read. I had totally forgotten what I wrote. Maybe my conscious mind forgot I wanted to travel to Europe and live on the mainland, but my subconscious took over and helped me to manifest it into reality.
  2. If you’re ready and willing, do this: Create a plan. As someone who is a lot more right-brain creative than left-brain logical, I have a difficult time with getting down to business. Sure coming up with blog ideas is like taking candy from a baby for me, but give me a puzzle and I’ll stare at it for days and never touch it. Yet, even us right-brainers know the importance of plan making. So I’ve been doing my own research on how to create a business plan. What I’ve come up with is 1) Mind Mapping: That’s something you can do with traditional pen and paper or online. I’ve used both mindmeister and Freemind. They’re both free. If you’re not familiar with mind mapping, basically it’s like clouds of ideas. You start with one then branch out with others. It’s kind of like a free write, free thought, anything goes way to problem solve. A former boss and mentor told me about it and I wished I used it sooner. 2) Google Docs: Create a daily/monthly/yearly task list of things you need to do to get to your goals and find the satisfaction of checking them off when they’re completed.

I just realized that a few of my goals have already came true. Remember when I wrote in this post that a voice in my dream told me, “find your niche. Then follow, find and develop friendships with those who are doing what you want to do and will help support you.” Well, recently I’ve gotten two emails inviting me to a book group and a healthy lifestyle group. Who knows? This may be the people I’ve been hoping for.

Now it’s your turn. What will you do now to meet your dreams halfway?

*If you like what you’re reading and want to stay updated with future posts, you can click on this link to have fresh new 2inspired posts sent directly to you. Thanks for being an awesome reader!

{photo credit}

CategoryFollowing your dreams, How to | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
June 22nd, 2010

A Dirty Little Secret

{photo credit}
Over the weekend, I was flipping and flopping through stations when I serendipitously landed on Mike Rowe’s Dirty Jobs. You know the one where he does a dirty job for a day – things none of us really dream of doing (cleaning poo, picking up owl vomit, etc.) yet, we’re drawn in like a moth to a flame and can’t stop watching it? Yep, that one.

Well, he had a special on 5 things he learned about employment. They were pretty shocking. So shocking, in fact, that I thought I’d reveal one of the dirty little secrets here.

Are you ready for it?

“Don’t follow your passion, bring it with you.”

Ack! What?! You mean everything I have been saying about passion so far has been…WRONG?!

Well. Maybe.

Guess it all depends how you look at it. Here’s what I think. I think sometimes we wait and wait for _________ (inspiration, love, answers) to come before we take action. We think maybe like Chicken Little, something’s gotta drop down from the heavens and hit us on the head before we do anything about it.

Instead, the workers Mike Rowe follows have passion because they found it in the jobs that they were already in. Sure, part of living a happy life in any situation you’re in, is your attitude. Actually that’s a HUGE part of it! That’s something you can control. That means if you’re typing away at a job you dislike, but you’ve got to be there to support your family, for example, you can still have a happy life. There are things you can do in the meantime to keep your head above water. It also means that every job has someone who’s passionate about doing it. Those people are the real deal. They can find energy, excitement and gratitude, even flow in what they’re doing.

What it doesn’t mean is that you have to settle for the rest of your life, doing something you despise or that you’ll never, ever figure out your purpose in life. On the contrary, what it means is that we have choices. We can make the best of the situation we are in now, while still working on our dreams. Yes, you can have passion in what ever you do even if you dislike what you’re doing. You can bring that passion with you on your journey so that one day soon you’ll find out what you’re purpose is in life. The thing is, you won’t know until you go out and try it.

How would you ever know you’re destined to be a _________ (toilet crusher, worm catcher, etc.) or the many other unique jobs there are out there unless you try it? Try it and give your over 100% effort and then see how you feel. Do that and you’ll be one step closer to finding your dream career.

Trust me. I went from private investigator to research assistant, then realized and reconfirmed my dream to be a writer.

CategoryFollowing your dreams | Comment2 Comments »

Tags:
June 21st, 2010

The Wizard of Oz's Cowardly Lion Gets His Badge of Courage

What does it take to have courage? To go from standing at the edge of where you are to where you want to be, then make that leap?

The Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz had to face his fears to get his medal of courage. Although outwardly he seems scary and fierce, inside he’s as vulnerable and fearful as a mouse. His intimidation is just a facade. Like many of us he so desires courage and bravery, yet he’s too afraid to do the things necessary (face his fears) to earn them.

But what can we, mere humans do, to fight our fears and wear courage on our sleeve, take big risks so that we can live the life of our dreams?

Fortunately for most of us, much of our fears are internal. We don’t need to chase our food or physically fight for our lives. When our hearts thump and our palms sweat, it’s usually because there’s something we need to do, but we don’t know if we a) have the courage to face it b) deserve the rewards that come with facing them.

So what do we do?

Well we can flee, run under the covers and hide. We can eat, shop and do anything else to escape from how we really feel because the anxiety of knowing what we want to do versus what we are doing now is too big of a pill to swallow.

Or we can…

  1. Make a plan. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the goal itself, creating a plan of where we want to be can help you feel like you’re doing something (alleviating some of your anxiety) when you’re not quite ready to make the leap.
  2. Take small steps toward your goal. Whether it’s researching other companies, finding out how much money you need to save for that trip you’ve always wanted to take or reading a biography on someone who’s life you want to emulate, small steps will eventually get you to your goal. Doing them will empower you, give you courage, confidence to go for the big stuff when you’re ready to take that step.
  3. Be open and listen to what’s going on around you. This year was a tough one for me. I’ve made tons of mistakes and continue to do so. But what has helped me more than anything is to be still and open to what life wants to teach me. When I have faith and trust in the process instead of forcing change, I gain tons of wisdom and insight and things tend to work out for itself in the end. Two things happened recently, which caused a shift in my thinking. For one, I heard about someone who made a huge risk and did something I was fearing myself. Knowing that someone else did what I was so afraid to do and survived it, gave me the courage to take that leap. Secondly, I prayed about a solution to my problems. I was making all these small changes in my life, but I was ready to risk big to live a BIG life. This morning when I woke I had the answer to my prayers. While I was sleeping, I heard someone say, “Just find your niche. Then follow, find and develop friendships with those who are doing what you want to do and will help support you.”

You already have the tools to be courageous. Perhaps you just needed to be reminded of that. But you can do it. Hope this post will help you get there!

*If you want to stay updated with future posts, you can click on this link to have fresh new 2inspired posts sent directly to you. Thanks for being an awesome reader!

{photo credit}

CategoryFacing Fears | Comment1 Comment »

Tags:
June 17th, 2010

A Father's Day Post

Father’s Day is a mere moments away. While I can’t be physically near my father since he’s in another state, I thought I’d post an old article I wrote for him years ago. I hope you’ll enjoy it and have a Happy Father’s Day yourself!

Perhaps the greatest evidence of age comes in comparison to those around you.  When I was big enough to walk, but small enough to need daddy’s hand to hold, the world was still young and so was he and I.  Big hands to cover tiny fingers were what security embodied looked like.  I needed him for support and he willingly obliged.  As I got older, my father would run past me calling me “slowpoke” because I would always fall behind. I remember our weekly walks to the neighborhood park where I would stare at his feet gigantic in comparison to mine.  To walk beside him I needed to take double steps to his one and I thought to myself that I would never be grown up enough to catch up to him.  No matter how fast I walked beside him, he would always be faster.  That’s how fathers should be I thought, forever.

As our pace began to mirror each other, the distance between us also disappeared.  The park that I once built my childhood on had also changed.  When I became an adult, the same park didn’t feel as safe.  It had become the home for the homeless and filled with addicts and graffiti.  Funny how so much can change within one’s lifetime.

As I left my twenties, I began to notice a difference in our walks together.  I was starting to know more about life, through my education, our unshared experiences, by living in other states.  Where once we raced ahead into an unknown future, now our pace grew slower to catch up for him.  His knees hurt he said.  His back was too sore to go on.  And I was the one who said, “We’re almost home” instead of him who used to coach me on.  I could tell that he was frustrated.  Our bodies fail us with age it’s true.  It makes me sad that life goes that way though it is inevitable.

I still walk with my father, side by side.  And I am grateful for all the moments captured in the paces we’ve walked, one step at a time.  I’ve realized, as I got older that it’s not how fast or how far you go, but all the pleasures of the precious moments in between.

CategoryHolidays, Inspirational Stories | Comment4 Comments »

Tags:
June 10th, 2010

2inspired's Out Guest Posting Today

Today, you can find me hopping around the blogosphere. I’m temporarily off for today. But you can get your inspirational fill from two of my guest posts. One’s all about learning how to be true to yourself, celebrate your uniqueness and be happy by standing out from the crowd. You might already recognize the name Margarita Tartakovsky. She writes the Weightless blog on Psych Central. She’s also guest blogged here. Well I returned the favor and wrote her a blog post in exchange. Hope you enjoy it!

I also had my second run with Carson Brackney. He’s also a new writer friend I made from the 2010 WordCount Blogathon. He’s no stranger to my blogs as well. You can read his posts here and here. My post for him (I wrote two as well) was inspired after I caught the movie Sherlock Holmes on a flight to Hawaii. It’s all about the importance of having a sidekick and about balancing creativity and stability in not just writing, but everything you create.

These two fellow writer friends make freelance writing fun! I hope you like the posts.

CategoryGuest blog, Resources | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
June 7th, 2010

The Unglamorous Reality of Sex and the City 2

photo via imdb

For all of you who haven’t yet watched Sex and the City 2, avert your eyes or maybe save your money and don’t watch it. I’m not a SATC hater, really I’m not. In fact, I’ve watched each episode at least 10 times (no joke!).

But alas, this is not a movie review. I’m more of a book review kinda gal. But there was something inspiring about the movie and I thought I’d share it here.

Four young single New Yorkers once strutted their stuff. These four women are not so young anymore and the majority are not even single. But what they teach us in their older age is something I think needs to be discussed.

So the glamour fades (fashion still reigns) and four hot women with once exciting lives begin to start settling in and the drama now exists only when created by them in their relationships.

There’s an important lesson here.

Life is sometimes boring. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find the “sparkle,” the inspiration, the magic. Sometimes the mundaneness not just in your relationships eats at you. And if left there will eventually rot.

Here’s what I know:

  1. It’s okay for life to not always feel super exciting. In fact, if our lives were like the movies we’d have a heart attack at an early age from all that stress. Eventually age brings a certain amount of normalcy and that’s a good thing.
  2. Yet, you shouldn’t let normalcy mean stagnation. There’s a big difference between happiness, comfort and safety and sitting on a couch wasting your life away. If you’ve felt bored for several days/weeks/months even years in a row, then maybe you’re avoiding something. Fear could be holding you back from your dreams. Even my rabbit gets bored and when he gets bored, he gets destructive. You might be unconsciously self-destructing through food, TV or other mindless activities as a way to numb yourself. In that case, being aware may mean seeking therapy.
  3. Imperfection does not mean termination. Carrie could have sabotaged her relationship with Mr. Big (actually I’m an Aidan fan so I wouldn’t have minded it), because of her fear that their relationship after 2 years of marriage was getting too comfortable. Sometimes when things don’t seem perfect since real life is a lot more messier, unglamorous and flawed than on the movies, we automatically assume that imperfection means the end. What happens when we think that? We do things to sabotage our relationships and our lifelong goals.
  4. There’s nothing wrong with you. Life is about choices. You make some good ones. You make some not so good ones. You live. You learn. Sometimes you think it’s you, but it’s really the situation you’re in. Give yourself a break and be open to the possibility that there really is nothing wrong with you.

While SATC 2 left this fan something to be desired, there were a few gems in the movie. There was something less glamorous in this one and maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe it’s time we all got real with how unglamorous, yet gloriously messy real life can be.

CategoryInspirational Stories | CommentNo Comments »

Tags:
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »