Posts tagged ‘Finding your passion’

July 5th, 2010

Surefire Ways to Burn Out, Pt.2: A Few Dream Busters

I had such a great time sharing part one of ways to burn out, I’m back again for a another round. So here we go!

  1. Bring your bad attitude wherever you go. Remember my past post about Mike Rowe and his awesome show Dirty Jobs? Those workers could do the dirtiest jobs with enthusiasm because they brought their passion wherever they went. The opposite is true too. Want to burn out and get yourself fired? Bring your unhappiness to your job and it’ll feel a million times worse being there. I once had a Japanese teacher who told us to leave our baggage outside the door so that when we entered we’d be fresh and ready to learn. While it’s not always easy to do so, being present, mindful and showing a good attitude while you’re at work, can potentially propel you into something better. Being angry, disgruntled and negative can make you miserable and eventually lead to a fast track path to burning out.
  2. Be boring. Do the same thing every day all the time. Don’t ever have any fun and be as dull as you can be. Work until you can’t work no more, then work again for good measure. Do that and you’ll need a vacation ASAP!
  3. Stay safe. Stay in your comfort zone too long and spider webs will grow on your dreams. You’ll start losing hope, have less faith and your potential for self-growth and happiness will begin shrinking all around you. Giving up is next and that’s when burnout sets in.
  4. Sit under the sun too long without any protection. The opposite of staying safe is to go out of your comfort zone too much and too often. I once had a job where I was battling my inner fears on a day to day basis. The stress not only attacked my insides, but they didn’t give me a chance to refuel, reboot and recharge either. The result? Well, you can guess what happened next. How do you protect yourself from feeling too stressed? Social support. Breaks. Adequate safety from supervisors, mentors, anyone in a position that can lend a hand. It may also mean a change is necessary, which leads me to this:

Here’s the deal. Sometimes burning out can be a good thing. It can be a sign that it’s time to move on. Maybe you’ve stayed safe too long. Maybe you’ve allowed fear to paralyze you from taking action and burning out is the sign that you’re ready to confront that fear and make a change. It could also just mean you need a break. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take some time to figure out what it’s telling you. Just like a fever is your body’s way of saying you need to rest, burning out is a signal that something’s not right. An internal and emotional shift may be necessary to put you right back on track.

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CategoryFacing Fears | CommentNo Comments »

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July 1st, 2010

A Surefire Way to Burn Out, Pt.1

Yep it’s summer! July 1st only a handful of days left until 4th of July! But before you go firing up the grill and roasting those marshmallows, listen up. Yes you want to soak up the rays of that gorgeous summer sun, but not only should you protect yourself from sunburn, but also from burn out.

Here are a few things you DON’T want to do to make sure you’re not partied out before the party (your dream life) starts:

  1. Put all your party eggs in one basket. Here’s what that means. Yes, you want to become the best writer there ever was or the most successful teacher or talk show host or self-help guru on this planet. Here’s the thing though. Crawling in a hole and surrounding yourself with all things related to your one dream, is not just insanely boring, but it’s one step toward the death of your dream. Yes, it’s important to learn and know everything you can about your passion, but filling your brain up with it is also a surefire way to kill it. Keep informed. Learned what you must. Talk with those interested in your passion as well. But then, go out, chat with non-writers, be among the rest of the world, stick your head out from under the ground long enough to smell the sweet flowers around you. Then, go back and dive in!
  2. Make everyone your God. Yes sometimes I fall for it too. When times get tough, the weak get listening. And at times our ears fall on the grand population whose words swallow our own. While I think it’s good to learn and observe from those we admire, we also need to keep our own thoughts and good advice in check. A successful guru can chant all he wants about his great pyramid or his gargantuan empire, but in reality we need to live our own lives. So unless you want to give up too early on your dreams, listen compassionately, filter and find what feels right for you.

Sorry guys that’s it for now! Will be back next week for more ways to tip the scale towards burn out. I’ll be on an interview so wish me luck. (Trying not too put all my party eggs in one basket here.)

CategoryFollowing your dreams | CommentNo Comments »

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June 22nd, 2010

A Dirty Little Secret

{photo credit}
Over the weekend, I was flipping and flopping through stations when I serendipitously landed on Mike Rowe’s Dirty Jobs. You know the one where he does a dirty job for a day – things none of us really dream of doing (cleaning poo, picking up owl vomit, etc.) yet, we’re drawn in like a moth to a flame and can’t stop watching it? Yep, that one.

Well, he had a special on 5 things he learned about employment. They were pretty shocking. So shocking, in fact, that I thought I’d reveal one of the dirty little secrets here.

Are you ready for it?

“Don’t follow your passion, bring it with you.”

Ack! What?! You mean everything I have been saying about passion so far has been…WRONG?!

Well. Maybe.

Guess it all depends how you look at it. Here’s what I think. I think sometimes we wait and wait for _________ (inspiration, love, answers) to come before we take action. We think maybe like Chicken Little, something’s gotta drop down from the heavens and hit us on the head before we do anything about it.

Instead, the workers Mike Rowe follows have passion because they found it in the jobs that they were already in. Sure, part of living a happy life in any situation you’re in, is your attitude. Actually that’s a HUGE part of it! That’s something you can control. That means if you’re typing away at a job you dislike, but you’ve got to be there to support your family, for example, you can still have a happy life. There are things you can do in the meantime to keep your head above water. It also means that every job has someone who’s passionate about doing it. Those people are the real deal. They can find energy, excitement and gratitude, even flow in what they’re doing.

What it doesn’t mean is that you have to settle for the rest of your life, doing something you despise or that you’ll never, ever figure out your purpose in life. On the contrary, what it means is that we have choices. We can make the best of the situation we are in now, while still working on our dreams. Yes, you can have passion in what ever you do even if you dislike what you’re doing. You can bring that passion with you on your journey so that one day soon you’ll find out what you’re purpose is in life. The thing is, you won’t know until you go out and try it.

How would you ever know you’re destined to be a _________ (toilet crusher, worm catcher, etc.) or the many other unique jobs there are out there unless you try it? Try it and give your over 100% effort and then see how you feel. Do that and you’ll be one step closer to finding your dream career.

Trust me. I went from private investigator to research assistant, then realized and reconfirmed my dream to be a writer.

CategoryFollowing your dreams | Comment2 Comments »

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May 21st, 2010

Week 10: The Final Chapter (Feasting)

Can you tell I’ve been procrastinating? For 10 weeks, I’ve been diligently (well maybe just being good enough) following Martha Beck’s The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life. And it’s finally coming to the end! I have to say this is one diet, I’m sad to say goodbye to. It’s been a difficult ride-what with having to do nothing, be truthful, focus on my desires, be creative, take a risk, indulge in treats, have fun, laugh, connect with others and now feast.

Okay maybe it sounds a lot more fun and easy than it was! But all in all the journey was a life-changing one. It’s given me insight into what I really want in my life and the hope that I can achieve it. It’s taught me the importance of indulging in play and in laughing while also being conscious of my self and others. And while doing it saddens me, I must continue on to the last and my favorite part-the feast.

Here’s a story I’ll use to describe this section.

Martha uses a similar story in the book as well. Anyway, 10 years ago I worked at a chocolate shop. At that time, I didn’t like chocolate too much (I know! I can hardly believe it myself being the chocoholic I am today.) At the time, I was not very honest with myself or others for that matter. I actually told the owner I adored chocolate and that I was taking this as a permanent job, not the part-time summer gig I really had in mind.

After working there for a month, I started to develop a craving for chocolate. Maybe it was the aroma of melted cocoa that warmed me up to it or the temptation of being able to grab gourmet chocolate pieces like chocolate covered mint leaves and chocolate covered oranges anytime I wanted to. But whatever it was, I blame my chocoholism to this store.

The funny thing about it was that while working there I actually lost weight!

Why did I refrain from pigging out on any piece of chocolate I could get my hands on? It could have been the mean manager who I think didn’t like me. But more than likely it was because I fully feasted on the experience of being there. The chocolate aroma, the feel of the sweet brown cocoa melting on my fingertips, the spicy ginger flavor mixed with bitter dark chocolate. All of that was more than enough. All my senses were engaged without needing to overindulge on the experience.

This is the main focus of the last chapter. Indulging on things that are filled with beauty, that arouses our senses, that feels like a “feast” helps bring us to joy, more than cash, food, and things alone can do. It’s the pure enjoyment of life that can bring us to the highest levels of happiness and joy.

When I think about my honeymoon, for example, I think of many things. But the moment that stands out most to me?

The chocolate pyramid.

When I say those three words, my husband knows exactly what I’m talking about. It was a rich chocolate dessert put atop a beautiful arrangement of white eggplant drizzled with honey. Sitting in an open restaurant in Santorini, Greece with the sounds of soft Greek music playing, the feel of the warm night, and the simply gorgeous heaven on a plate in front of me. That was real joyous living!

She ends with the feast because it is one of the most important things to remember in being joyful. Sometimes we forget when we get caught up in the busyness of life to simply sit and appreciate the world around us. If you’re feeling that way, get back to feasting. Experience life’s small moments, breathe it in, then sit back and feel the joy!

CategoryBook Reviews, Life | CommentNo Comments »

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May 14th, 2010

What You're Doing Right

I’m a big fan of Twitter for obvious reasons. I’ve got almost 400 kick-butt followers from editors and web designers to small business owners to freelance writers. And I even have a handful of my all-time favorite peeps. (Like Ms. Martha Beck who I’m still blushing in disbelief from her words of humor/wisdom in our recent twitter chats.)

The one thing that I haven’t really enjoyed, however, is the number of tweets and articles out there that tell you what you’re doing wrong. Their provocative, grab you pieces might gain tons more attention that this humble blog does, but I can’t help wonder how helpful they really are.

Maybe in the big scheme of things knowing that I should, for example, have my name as a Twitter handle instead of the name of my blog, is a good thing. It’s also good to know that I shouldn’t be a freelancer if I don’t like sitting at my desk or working alone or doing paperwork or working as a business, etc. But what I see less in the Twitter realm is what we’re doing right.

Why are there so many negative articles and posts out there? Can knowing what we’re doing wrong be more helpful than focusing on what we’re doing right?

Maybe having someone bark orders at some is necessary. Maybe we need the knowledge to come straight and clear for us to get it. But for some, I think a little bit of encouragement would be better.

If you’re on the road to following your passion, would you want someone to berate you for what you’re doing wrong or support you and focus on what you’re doing right?

Maybe it’s a preference thing. But for me, on this journey to freelance freedom, I’d much rather read this.

A top 5 list of what you’re doing right, right now:

  1. If you’re reading this, you’re on your way to an inspiring life. Just taking small steps ends up affecting your life in a big way.
  2. You’ve taken risks. Yesterday, I made a big announcement on Twitter that my dream jobs were as a magazine columnist and a book author. I cringed as I clicked on send. But I did it. It was my way of proclaiming my dream. I took a risk and survived it. Congratulate yourself for even the some bits of discomfort you face!
  3. You’re doing the best you can. Life isn’t about perfection it’s about giving everything you can. Even if you’re sitting in a cubicle dreaming of your dream job, you’re doing what you can with what you have. Not everyone can quit a job they hate right away and that’s okay. Accepting your situation and who you are in the moment may be what you need to get through this moment to the moment of your dreams.
  4. You’ve already come so far. I think it takes a lot to get to a point where you can feel safe and comfortable enough to dream. Even a year ago, I never thought I could write for a living and although I’m still far from my goals, I’m closer than I’ve ever been before. Try to remember where you came from and celebrate your small victories every step of the way. You deserve it!
  5. You’ve kept going. Perseverance is a big thing in life. While others give up with the going gets tough, you’ve stuck through. And aren’t you glad you did? Even if all you’ve ever done is to hold onto that dream. You’ve done more than enough. When the time is right, you’ll have the courage and energy to go for it all! And when you do, let me know. We’ll celebrate that victory together!

A few words about this photo: I have extraordinarily long arms and no I’m not selling an ad for deodorant. I just finished a monstrous of a hike in Santorini and as you can see I was pretty excited.

CategoryFollowing your dreams | Comment1 Comment »

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July 6th, 2009

The "I'm Not Worthy" Syndrome

It was made funny by Dana Carvey in SNL’s favorite sketch “Wayne’s World,” but in reality feeling unworthy is anything but funny.  Whether it’s money, success or happiness that we’re fearing, why is it that we often deny ourselves what really want out of the fear that we’re unworthy of it?

Oftentimes when I’m hitting the online job ads, I automatically look for qualifications and skills that I don’t have versus what I do.  Somehow it’s an easy way for me to eliminate jobs.  Yet, even when I find gigs that I’m qualified for I tend to second guess myself.  And what’s left?  Jobs I’m overqualified for.  Sure those are easy to get, but they’re not so fun to maintain.  More importantly, they are most likely unchallenging and unworthy of you, your time, skills and energy.

So what’s the antidote to the I’m not worthy syndrome?  Take a shot of confidence, a dose of courage and a drop of hope and then take a deep breath and do it anyway.  The thing is that even the most successful person you admire didn’t start off that way.  Everyone experiences that moment when they doubt who they are and if they can really make it.  

The difference between them and us?  They took a chance and believed that they could.  So the next time you feel insecure, unsure and unworthy, remember this one thing: pretend that you are already the person you’ve always wanted to be.  Imagine you are successful, amazing, and totally worthy.  Chances are, you already are!

Carmel

CategoryFreelance writing, Inspirational Stories, job, Life, work | Comment1 Comment »

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June 18th, 2009

Kathy Griffin: My New Role Model?

Kathy GriffinI have a secret.  I kind of like Kathy Griffin.  Okay she may be as bold as her red hair, and vulgar as a man, but I think she is hilarious and as funny as the people she surrounds herself with.  

Take for example, that time she was “dating” Woz aka Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak.  It made me interested in Apple and I work for them!  Or how about her hilarious parents and crew.  Her sweet mom always with a drink in her hand and her “how’d they get that job?” staff.  You can’t write that stuff or can you?  I can’t ever tell how much is staged and how much reality is in reality.  

But the bottomline for me is that no matter how zany and off-kilter she can be, my main motivators to watch Griffin on Bravo’s “My Life on the D-List,” are her stubborn, unyielding, never get her down attitude.  She may say crazy things and act like nothing bothers her, but when it comes to her passion (making the A-list) she wears her heart on her sleeve and I admire her for that.

It doesn’t matter if people don’t know who she is or her name, she actually makes a joke of it and then keeps going.  And no matter her goal, whether getting an Emmy (which she’s gotten 2 so far) or a Grammy nomination (she’s gotten one), she’s clear and persistent.  I’d say, “She’s got balls” in a big way.  

Her show may be called, “My Life on the D-List” but I think Griffin’s got a secret too, with the popularity of the show her desperate attempts to clench attention and success has gotten her quite a few awards and nominations as well as rubbing elbows with celebs.  One things for sure, you know who’s got the last laugh!

Photo courtesy of KathyGriffin.net.

CategoryInspirational Stories | CommentNo Comments »

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June 11th, 2009

Blissful Dream or Perfect Nightmare? You Get to Decide!

When my 9 to 5 is quickly putting me in humdrum mode, I dream about what I would do if I could do anything.  Sometimes I’m Carrie Bradshaw typing away on my Apple laptop and having lunches with friends and other times I envision working at a magazine.  Have you ever let your inner child loose too and imagined what it would be like if you could live the life of your wildest fantasies?  

If you have, I bet you never thought that you could actually make that dream come true.  And I’m talking everything from a chocolatier to a TV Producer.  “If you dream it, they will come.”

There’s a company called, “Vocation Vacations” that let you test-drive your dream job for one to three days.  This way you can actually make your dreams come true, experience the job for yourself and in the eyes of a mentor and then decide if it’s still a fantasy or a nightmare.

The downside?  The price is a bit steep ranging from $549-1199.  However, this might be worth the investment if it saves you time and money and furthers your decision to follow your dreams.  Check out their website for more info.

Categoryjob, Resources | CommentNo Comments »

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May 30th, 2009

Happy Days Are Here Again!

It took me awhile to get here.  But I finally got it!  The key to happiness in life?  Do what makes you happy.  

Oftentimes, we’re raised by our families, friends, culture, community and society to believe that life is about struggle.  The 80’s slogan, “No pain, no gain!” epitomizes this belief.  Yet, how can we be happy if we’re spending all our time miserable and doing things that deplete rather than fill us?  As I was bike riding with my husband today, enjoying nature and the feeling of the wind on my face, I realized how simple it is, and yet how complicated we make things.  Maybe we’re afraid of being that happy or believe that it’s a mirage tempting us only to disappear when we get close.  Sure there are difficulties in life that I’m not trying to sugar coat but there are always moments in which we can choose joy instead of pain.

So here’s my challenge to you.  I dare you to do something that you truly enjoy whether it’s taking 5 minutes for meditation or an hour massage.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money to do something that feels indulgent.  For me, a night spent writing is a night well spent.  Make it a regular event and schedule it in, and soon you’ll be on a path towards true happiness.  

And for an inspirational story, check out this one from Chicken Soup for the Soul.

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CategoryHappiness | CommentNo Comments »

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April 21st, 2009

Asking a Mentor, Part II

Another one of my inspirational role models is young couple John and Sherry of “This Young House.”  I was driven to their beautiful blog when I caught an episode of HGTV’s “Rate My Space” and got wind of their uber-talents in interior design.  Soon after, I was hooked!  And following my first successful attempt to email a mentor (see previous entry below), I was less afraid to take the plunge and try it again.  

Well, I couldn’t have been more thrilled with Sherry’s response!  She was kind, SO cool, and just like I’d imagined her to be-full of energy and passion for what she does-a true inspiration to me.  Read an excerpt of Sherry’s email below to find out what her secrets are for getting to where she is today.  I’ve broken it up into themes by what factors helped get them on their way.

1.  Luck & Gratitude.  “We have definitely had a series of lucky breaks to end up where we are today in the blog world, and for that we’re eternally thankful. We never solicited these mentions, people found us and liked what they saw- which is truly amazing and we still pinch ourselves when we think about it!”

2. Opportunity. “It might not have been the job that we always wanted, but once we started to grow and get such a great response it quickly became clear that it was what we loved doing, and we’d do anything we could to keep it going and help it grow even more!”

3. Talent & Hard Work. “I also think a lot of our success has to do with the fact that we’re actually writers (I used to be a copywriter and John’s still in advertising to this day) and we truly love to write (we ENJOY it and it’s never a chore) and we try very hard to come up with creative and unexpected approaches to decorating that won’t break the bank (which is really something that people can relate to these days). I’m not gonna lie- it’s the hardest job we’ve ever had. We work weekends and nights and we’re never really “off” because the internet is 24/7 and someone always has a question or places an order that we have to fill. Our to-do list is always eons long- and of course we still have to find time to write posts and complete house projects to keep people coming back! In short, it’s definitely a lot of work but it’s also rewarding and creative and challenging too. And we love a challenge!” 

4. Passion. “I have no idea what I would be doing if I didn’t have the blog to keep me busy. Probably still writing copy for advertising (which I also enjoyed, I even wrote some celebrity stuff for the Got Milk campaign when we were in NYC). But the blog brings a different sort of independent satisfaction. We do it all and we’re the boss and we decide everything that happens with it and that’s very satisfying and empowering. Plus I’m just crazy about design and decorating and online shopping and color and art so it’s a great combination of a ton of things that really float my boat!” 

5. Dream.  “I think our dream was to create a place that we’d love to drop in on (a site with tutorials and info and nice people who actually answer questions and emails), so we created the thing that we hadn’t found yet and people really seem to be happy that we did.” 

CategoryUncategorized | Comment1 Comment »

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