Archive for ‘Following your dreams’

May 12th, 2010

The Importance of Connection: Week #9

I find it ironic or dare I say, “serendipitous” that something occurs every week that coincides with The Joy Diet. And this week was no different. One of my challenges has been feeling disconnected-the downside of working at home and getting deep into social media. I’ve gotten great at the daily tweets or Facebook comments online, but in the real world, I’ve shied away from TMRI or too much real interaction.

Why is disconnection so common?

According to Beck, it’s the risk we take when two people become three-a dynamic that can make us vulnerable to things like heartbreak and rejection. Yet, connecting with others is the very thing we need the most. Supportive relationships are what helps take us through the “not so perfect now” to the life of our dreams.

In order to tackle this ugly monster, I’ve been practicing diligently like the “good” student I am by doing nothing, being honest, and taking small risks on a daily basis.

In honest language, this means I’ve stared off in space while I waited for things to happen (my husband to come back to the car, the computer to stop thinking, etc.). It also means that I’ve been brutally honest about my life and the choices I’m making in the present moment to create my future reality.

And the risks?

Beck tells us to try to do nothing in relationships with others. I’ve been spending more time focusing on listening to others rather than worrying about responding. Although I haven’t always been successful, I notice that during moments when I can fully be present, I feel less stressed in the conversation and more compassionate about who I’m listening too.

Another serendipitous moment?

Yes it’s another one! Recently, a dream came true when I started “chatting” via twitter with one of my role models and inspiring author of this book (I think I’ve laughed and cried from laughing on almost all of her books.) Martha Beck. I’m sure she’s someone with the kind of generous spirit that will chat with anyone, but I can’t tell you how much my spirit lifted and my heart soared. I took a giant risk, for me anyway, to contact her. And I felt validated, in fact, I felt “heard” just like what she talks about in chapter 9 and just like my favorite scene in the movie Avatar.

In fact, I’m starting to wonder what it would be like if we all stopped focusing on our own insecurities, doubts and worries and focus entirely on the person right in front of us.

We might just become more happy, compassionate and connected beings.

In case you’re curious…

Here’s a snippet of my brief chat with Ms. Martha Beck:

ME: Thanks you for making my day! I’m heavily into, “The Joy Diet” and can’t tell you what a difference it has already made.

MB: At the risk of sounding like a dork, it’s people like YOU who inspire ME!

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May 10th, 2010

The Single Secret to a Successful Life

You might read the title and blow it off. I mean come on, one secret! One secret to a successful life! There’s no way or is there?

Here’s what I know for sure:

While there are no easy ways to success, there is a simple way. And it’s one thing you can do now that will help you down the road to success.

In the almost year long path that I’ve been on my own pursuit of happiness, I’ve learned a few things.

  1. You can’t trust everybody. I had enough deadbeat clients to learn that the hard way. But it also taught me my next lesson.
  2. I’m responsible for my life. This means that I need to be selective about the people I interact with and invite into both my personal and professional life. Which also leads to #3 and what I consider to be the #1 secret for a successful life.
  3. Confidence! If you don’t feel it, feign it. Why? Because over the last year I realized that you get what you think you deserve. If you feel unworthy of success, of good friendships, a happy marriage, even a working car, then you’ll get exactly what you think you’re worth.

The big ‘aha’ moment for me came when I dug in deep and discovered that what was really holding me back was me. There was a voice that said that I was not good enough as a writer to do it for a living.

The thing that got it from boisterous betrayer to wimpy whisper is understanding that I was creating my destiny. I was tripping over my own path because I believed that I wasn’t good enough to deserve better.

What got me over the hurdle was building up my own sense of self-worth. Reminding myself of how far I’ve come personally and professionally and silencing the inner critic with a larger than life ally.

The difference has been profound.

Just thinking that I deserve everything I desire has gotten me better clients, better pay (in one case, almost 7x’s what I was making at the start) and more opportunities. The best indicator of the change is my writing. Just like the way people can perceive in your body language how you feel about yourself, I think you wear your writing on your sleeve.

One of my friends kept telling me my writing has gotten better recently. While I pondered what changed, I suddenly got it! It was my perception of myself and my abilities that had affected my writing.

While I’m still a work-in-progress, I definitely think that confidence has helped me go from, “I think I’m a writer,” to “Yes I can and Yes I am a writer!” And this single secret to success, I believe can also help you on your own endeavors. Try on a bit of confidence, wear Oprah’s or a mentor, someone you idolize, and see if that doesn’t get you one step closer to your dreams!

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April 27th, 2010

Finding Purpose Through Tragedy

If you’re feeling stuck, as in you’re stagnating, floating, but not making a real impression in life, then I’d dare you to try something different. You may be treading in shallow waters out of fear.

I tried it this weekend when I did something most introverts wouldn’t dare do-man a booth for 8 hours at a festival filled with several hundred people. Without meaning to, I gained a lot more than a nose tan and a sore behind. I learned not only that there was an entire community out there that I could connect with, but that there was a vast sea of opportunity right outside of my front door. If you can only get past your fears, you may discover your true path and find meaning in your life.

Speaking of which, it’s week #7 of The Joy Diet. And it’s playtime! One of the little nuggets of wisdom that I adore in this chapter is its stress on playing for your career. If you’re still scratching your head in confusion and unclear about your life’s purpose-your career-try answering this question.

Beck asks us, “What did you do on the evening of September 11, 2001?

The reason? In the midst of tragedy, we often are reminded that life is short. Suddenly, life takes on new meaning and we return to what is true to us.

On September 11th, I remember going into work, which was really pointless. None of us got anything done. Except I do remember doing one thing with passion. I sat at my desk and wrote a poem. Then, when I went home that evening, I wrote an article for the local newspaper. Tragedy forced out my true calling. And I think if it happened to me, it might just do the same for you.

This week, I dare you to do something out of the ordinary (whether it’s taking a new class or trying a new hobby), then sit down and remember what you were doing on September 11th. See if doing them will spark a new or renewed interest in your calling and help reconnect you to your true purpose and find meaning in your life.

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April 24th, 2010

How Goofing Off Can Make You More Productive

I’m stuck on item #6 of The Joy Diet and would like to stay here awhile please. Making 2 treats a part of my every day has been a blessing. Not just for my soul, but for my wallet too.

Sometimes we get so focused on our goals or obsessed with daily superficialities (iphone, ipads, gossip, buying a home, etc.) that we lose sight of the here and now. This actually works against us and our ultimate goals-to be happy, successful and to feel whole.

I know because I’ve been a workaholic lately. Digging my nails deep into the present and throwing it all in there. I’ve been reading books and articles online, crafting not2shabby things and taking classes all in the hope of making me better at something. I ended up spreading myself thin with nothing left to give and worse-with nothing left to show for it.

Have you ever been there before?

Sometimes like the empty room in a home that needs to be filled we allow worry and fear to inhabit it instead of giving time, patience and faith to let things fill it organically.

Know what I mean?

It’s what happens when an empty dining room table gets replaced with junk or why the fear of no job/relationship makes way for jobs/relationships you don’t want. Out of fear comes desperation and more things we don’t want or need in our lives. Out of faith comes the life we’re destined to live. The latter takes courage to get there.

Goofing off helps.

Last week of The Joy Diet was an easy one. And surprisingly it brought my passion back. I stopped crafting, writing, and reading things related to my career. Instead, I flipped through fun magazines and watched a few episodes of Oprah. It just so happens that I caught two shows related to my passions (Earth Day and a show about people in their dream jobs). It reminded me about my passion to help the environment, why I write, and why I sacrifice time and money to do what I do. It inspired me to write this post and gave me the hope I needed to continue on the journey in faith, not fear.

Here’s a Joy Diet Challenge:

Take an hour or a few hours a day or even a week if you can and devote the time solely to you and your passion. It could be riding a bike, taking a hike, rediscovering your love for art by visiting a museum or watching a movie. Just do something unrelated to your career. Have fun and you’ll see passion, excitement and joy returning to your life-the fuel necessary to help manifest the life of your dreams.

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April 20th, 2010

Resolutions in Review

Busyness is sometimes a blessing, sometimes a distraction. In my freelance writing case, it’s a good thing. But while I’ve been writing up new magazine and newspaper articles, editing for a few new clients and firming up a few more interviews and book giveaways on 2inspired (stay tuned for that) I’ve also been doing a few other things on my own. There’s crafting, photography, and hmmm…rethinking old resolutions. In fact, I went as far back as 2008 to see what I’ve done and not done on my list. I figured 2 years should have been enough time to accomplish my goals. Let’s see…

Here’s what I wrote:

1. Write more!

2. Spend less.

3. Travel to New York.

4. Write a gratitude journal.

5. Keep a food diary.

6. Volunteer.

7. Spend time doing something fun every day.

8. Create a timeline for my dream career.

9. Meditate at least weekly!

10. Be open to possibility.

Have I resolved those resolutions?

I can honestly say I could check more than half off my list. No. 1 (write more) has grown exponentially since I’ve completely no. 8 (timeline for my dream career). I traveled to New York in 2009 (what a great trip!) and #s 7, 9 and 10 are being accomplished with The Joy Diet. I’ve still got a few items on my list to work on like volunteering and keeping a food journal. But I’m wondering how you did?

Have you checked your New Year’s Resolutions list recently?

One of the zany and sometimes frustrating things about life is that you can’t plan for everything. I was lucky, for example, that I was able to travel to New York last year. This year I may not have been so lucky. Also, there’s things I’ve done that weren’t even a seed in my mind a few years ago-like photography.

My dad has always been a photographer to me. He’s done weddings before. And when I was a kid he was the only one I knew who intentionally double exposed his pictures to get a unique shot.

I never thought I could take a photo to save my life. But I was always passionate about pictures. Pictures that could inspire. Photos that like my aunt and uncle’s wedding song, “If,” (as in “If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can’t I paint you?”) could speak a thousand words. In a college art class, I created a book filled with photos and poetry/essays intertwined, never realizing that one day I’d do the same thing online. Thank goodness for the blog!

Well, I’ve created a gallery of photos and showed them to my dad recently. I was shocked when he said that he knew photography and knew these were good. He also said they were “quirky,” and that I broke all the rules, yet still came up with beautiful photos. Thanks dad!

But I’m still not sure. What do you think of them?

For the rest of my photos, please see my online gallery.

CategoryFollowing your dreams, Inspirational Stories | Comment2 Comments »

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April 15th, 2010

Week #5: Risk

I pulled out a fortune from a cookie a few months ago and it read, “Your courage will reap rewards for you.” It’s a perfect statement to describe this week’s focus of The Joy Diet. In week #4, Ms. Martha had us visualizing our desires, now we have to put our money where our mouth is.

I’ve already been inspired by the Oprah show recently, when Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin empire, was on. This adventurous dude who is one of the most wealthiest people in the world and has his own private island, believes in going for your dreams and he does so in a way that would make most people blush, then faint. Somehow I think he follows this week’s goal to a tee.

Although I’m not Sir Branson-ready, I do feel in the mood to walk through a few first to get to my dreams. It may be the reason why I turned into Jim Carrey’s character in The Yes Man recently. Saying ‘yes’ to something I normally wouldn’t do.

I agreed to walk around my community selling ads for a local newspaper. While I’m not necessarily (I’ll use Sir Branson’s word) virgin in this area, I don’t get excited about doing it. I don’t think any introvert would. But I said, “Yes!” I took the challenge, walking through 15 shops in 1 afternoon.

I’m not going to lie and tell you my life was forever changed, cause it wasn’t. But I did get something out of it. As I willingly took the role as a salesman for the day, I saw people change how they reacted to me. While most of the people I met were kind, a lot of them (who I’ve interacted before as a consumer) went in hiding-literally not wanting to talk to me or were quick to brush me aside. I learned two things: 1) how to become a better salesman 2) that it really didn’t matter how people perceived me. I was just playing a role. They weren’t rejecting me. They were rejecting what I was selling.

It may sound like common sense, but for someone who makes a living as a freelance writer, getting rejected is a daily, soul-crunching experience. Taking a risk and getting rejected for something less personal, empowered me. I realized that like being a salesman, a writer was just another one of my roles. It wasn’t who I was. It was something I did. And in this business we call life, taking a risk, and risking rejection is the only way we can find success and ultimately happiness.

What’s the next item on my risk list?

  1. Writing a book

I know this one seems kind of wild and crazy. But the good thing is that Martha lets us break up the risk into small steps so it feels less intimidating. For now, I’m going to just research classes on writing books and read other books created by the publisher I’m interested in. Then see what happens next. Hey if I fall and crash and burn, at least you’ll know I gave it my all and tried.

If you really want to find joy and achieve your dreams, you’re going to have to work for it. And this week’s work is all about how much you’re willing to risk.

What are you willing to risk this week?

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April 5th, 2010

How I Made My Own Dreams Come True

The # 1 thing people ask me is, “How do you get all those people on your blog?”

What I think they mean is, “You’re not famous. You’re not that special. You work at home all day so how do you get all those inspiring people to take time from their busy schedule to spend time on 2inspired?”

I know. I get it. Because I’m pretty astounded too.

I started blogging because at the time I was quite fed up. I spent most of my life working at jobs that went from, “eh?” to “EEEEEHHHHH!!!.” In other words, the blah jobs and the “I’d rather do anything else than this” job.

After I was officially in my thirties, I decided that I’d rather risk being poor than taking a job I hated. With that, I opened the door to the possibility of writing again.

I think my first stint as a writer was poetry in elementary school. I started creating my own little newspaper where the top events was a leaky pipe or a sunny day. I got involved with our school’s newsletter and “worked” as an editor when computers were big, bulky things with no pictures. In high school, I joined the newspaper staff and surprised myself by winning a journalism scholarship award-one of only a handful in the state.

‘Til today, I still believe that I won solely based on my one strength. No, it’s not my writing skills, but something I share with Ryan Seacrest. It’s my A for effort.

I truly believe the reason why fiction and nonfiction authors, life coaches and past Olympians visit 2inspired is that I have a passion and that passion makes me high on E: E for energy and effort. It’s also on the graciousness of the people who I meet that makes 2inspired possible.

Well, plus, I ask.

Most people don’t believe that if they ask, they might just get what they want. I ask because my crazy desire to inspire others is greater than my fear of being rejected. I’ve experienced a million and a half rejections in my life and I’m still standing. Most of the time, I surprise myself by getting exactly what I ask for.

I think this goes back to Martha Beck’s Joy Diet and desire. Some people are so afraid of disappointment that they would rather hide their wishes in a closet, then lie them out so the world can see them. Maybe I’m just a little less scared of that. That’s all it is really.

If you want to make your dreams come true, don’t wait for someone to hand it over to you. Don’t wait until you feel good enough to deserve it or until you think you’re talented enough. Don’t wait or else time and the world will pass you by. Work today, one foot in front of the other, and your dreams will be that much closer while your fears will be that much farther behind.

If I waited for permission, for a sign or something that says, “Now you’re ready! You’re talented enough so people won’t laugh behind your back and talk about what a fake you are.” I’d be doing the same thing I did for most of my career. Sit back, watch life happen outside my window and let fear take over.

My point is this.

I’m not any more talented than the next person. What I have is a strong desire to make a difference to others, inspire them while I face my own fears and share the experience through my writing.

I just hope you realize that you can do it too. Follow on that path of whatever it is that makes your heart soar. Allow yourself the chance to shine and live out your dreams with wild abandon. Because really. If you don’t do it, who else will make your dreams come true?


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March 31st, 2010

Joy Diet Update: Week 3 Desire

Sounds kinda sexy doesn’t it? Well it is!

This week’s challenge is all about identifying your true desire. Beck’s theory is that any strong desire, ache, or thirst that we have are like bread crumb’s left by our soul-little nuggets to help us find our way to our true calling. That path will lead us to our destiny. Pretty cool, I’d say.

The way to get there?

Another 15 minutes of nothingness.

On Oprah yesterday, Raquel Welch spoke words that sounded like gospel to me.

She said, “A moment of silence sometimes is the most scariest thing in the world.”

Amen sister! It’s been an uphill battle for me these last few weeks, but the trek IS getting much easier.

I set the timer, closed my eyes and easily went first to nothingness, second to truth and third to this question, “What do I want most right now?”

I was suddenly flooded with images. First, I saw a book-my book on how to help others reach their dreams. Then, I felt a wave of energy pulsate through me and became swept up in the electricity of something greater than me. I saw myself as a spiritual teacher, with online classes and magazine columns and presentations. In the image, I had a strong, unbreakable spirit and surprising certainty that my life’s purpose was to inspire others to find their own purpose and live the life of their dreams.

A dam broke open.

Instead of any fear of inadequacy or fear itself (the wretched old man that walks around asking me, “Why wish, hope or dream?” since I’ll never get what I want), I  was suddenly free. Free to dream the impossible. My imagination flowed through effortlessly like a dam broke open and with it all my fears washed away and I was suddenly filled with every possibility.

Beck says we grow up learning early not to feel hopeful out of the fear of being disappointed or that wanting something is somehow selfish or hopeless. In reaction, we bury our dreams, lose sight of our true purpose and settle for the safe road. Better to conform and live a life of safety, then to reach out, take a risk and lose everything.

I am surprised that in 15 minutes, Ms. Martha Beck in her delightful book, changed everything for me. Not only did I feel optimistic about my potential and a life not limited by fear, but it also helped get me back on track. During that 15 minutes, I started to visualize every job I have had so far and knew instantly whether they fit in with this new vision or whether it was a job I took for convenience.

Thank you Ms. Beck again for making me shake my head in sheer and utter disbelief!

But I have to ask, where were you when I took that job at Apple?!

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March 29th, 2010

We have a Winner!

photo by: ADoseofShipBoy’s

I just wanted to thank Carol McClelland (author of Green Careers For Dummies
and founder of Green Career Central) again for visiting 2inspired last week and for all of you who tuned in, asking great insightful questions and for helping to spread the word. It’s all of you who help make my own inspiring dreams come true.

But this post isn’t about me, it’s all about our winner. So Raechel Conover come on down…Congratulations you won! Hope you love your new Green Careers for Dummies book!

And as for the rest of the week, I’ll be posting on the third week of my joy diet. (If you’re behind and missed week one, click here.)

This week is all about desire. After doing nothing, and uncovering truth, so far I’ve learned that joy is a whole lot of work. It makes sense that some would sacrifice lasting happiness for a temporary fix.

That’s cause to live your life joyfully, you need to live it consciously. That means no more filling your time with stuff (shopping, food, errands, etc.) to avoid feeling _____ (fill-in-the-blank with your own personal emotion). Beck’s forcing me to deal head on with my demons with the ultimate goal of experiencing life to its fullest. It’s reinforcing my past belief that we avoid painful emotions out of fear. And that the fear, like all fear, is a lot worse than the fear itself.

Case in point: Last week I had two fears. Fears so great that I was in anguish the whole night before the day I was expecting fear 1 and fear 2. The next morning I woke up to both fears. The very thing I was worried would happen did. And you know what? It wasn’t even that bad. The day passed and the event became a nonevent. I learned quickly that it’s what we do to avoid the fear (drink, drugs, destruct) that’s tons more harmful than the actual emotion itself.

So anyone with me? Would love to hear about your own personal mission to joy, diet or not.

CategoryFacing Fears, Following your dreams, Happiness | Comment4 Comments »

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March 19th, 2010

Reject the Rejections

“Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly
One small sideways look and I feel so ungood…

Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly
The moment I decide not to abandon me…”

– From Alanis Morissette’s “So Unsexy”

I was going to post this on my profession writer website, but realized that all of us experience rejection at some time or another, whether we’re writers or not. Just the other day in fact, someone close to me told me that I’m not that good of a writer.

In fact, over the years I’ve collected a list that would give Santa Claus a run for his money. Things like, “You think you’re good, but you’re not. You’re a poor writer. You’re just not that talented.” have once haunted me. And admittedly on occasion it still runs through my head during a particularly difficult day. Sometimes I wonder, “Are they right? Should I just give up?”

Here’s the thing. The more you venture out into the vast open land of possibility, the more you’ll open yourself up to rejection. When you do something outside your comfort zone, it makes others feel nervous and uncomfortable. They’ll start to wonder what’s wrong with them. Hence their reaction: They’ll try to keep you down, so they won’t have to feel uncomfortable around you.

Here’s what I’m not saying. I’m not talking about friends and family who love you and give you constructive feedback or criticism. I think it’s always wise to keep your eyes wide open and your ears as well. There’s always something you can learn from any situation.

What I’m saying is this: Don’t let other people sway you from doing what you feel is primal to you. Whether or not you’re good or bad, talented or not, you can still create the life you want. Give yourself the opportunity to see how far you can go without giving up just because someone told you not to.

Living life safe. Stability and comfort can be good things. But sometimes you need to reach beyond what’s familiar to get to your dreams. If I listened to the hundreds (okay maybe not hundreds) of people who deterred me from following my dreams, I would be safe, unhappy and stagnant. Not the kind of life I had in mind. I wouldn’t have move to California, traveled to Europe or start my own freelance writing business.

Think about it this way. Everyone has to start somewhere. So what if you’re not up to par with the greats, you’re sole purpose in life is to find the path of your dreams. And that path is made for you and only you. To get to where you want to go, you need to start from here. Here’s what I’ve learned: If you keep working at it, you will get better. I can say that my writing has gotten so much better in one year let alone the 20 years since I started.

After reading Walt Disney’s biography in Neil Gabler’s Walt Disney: The Triumph of the American Imagination (Vintage), I was first astonished by what the author called was an unexplained and unfounded confidence in Disney’s abilities at an early age. Even though he had no reason and no experience to be cocky, he was. Now I think, “Oh he got it!”

He had the passion that makes one think he’s going to change the world. It’s funny that in the end, Disney wasn’t doing the animation he started out with. In fact, a lot of his employees couldn’t really say what Disney did. But they knew what he was good at. He was passionate about whatever he put his mind too. And I’ve come to realize that this is key to fulfilling your dreams.

So go ahead. Be obnoxiously confident about yourself and your talent. If you won’t, nobody else will be. And who are you to do it? Well, you’re the one person responsible for changing your world.

Pssstt...Want more info on Wed, March 24th’s giveaway? Catch me on Twitter, and Facebook. Then keep coming back here for more.

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