Archive for ‘Following your dreams’

October 2nd, 2009

My Story

Open doorA friend asked me recently how I find the inspiring people I’ve interviewed here.  I think it’s really all about soul sisters Faith and Fate.  When I first started blogging in 2004, 5 years ago, I did it because the people I knew then were doing it.  Though I started writing since I was 6, I was a bit wary of going online and sharing my thoughts with the world.  But I did, eventually.

My first blog was all about me.  My personal thoughts about navigating my way through my twenties.  A newspaper editor who read it said I sounded like him when he was that age.  So yeah it was more of an online diary than anything else.

I later moved on to blogging professionally when I lucked out and scored a job at Tiny Prints, an online stationery store.  Although I didn’t know it at the time, my experience writing for them and their sister site Wedding Paper Divas would help catapult me into copywriting, web writing, blogging and ultimately the freelance writing world.

On an interview once, I received the most valuable advice ever from the interviewee.  He said, “I believe that whatever job we take now should be a stepping stone to what we really want to do in the future.”  For me this was a revelation.  Previously, I was job hopping without considering my dreams. From then on, I decided I was going to stop floating and get anchored in my writing.  Although I’ve taken the odd job here and there for money, I’ve still held on.

I might be only a pebble closer to my dreams but I’m comforted in knowing that at least I’m doing it.  I’m creating my own reality.  The people I’ve found on my journey came out of nowhere just because I opened myself up to possibility.  I’m actually on Martha Beck’s second book following, “Following Your Own North Star” called “Steering by Starlight.”  And it’s all about the magic that happens when you have the courage to life in.  I think too many people are scared of disappointment, afraid of not being worthy of their dreams.

The truth is.  The fact that we are here means that we’ve already encountered a life’s worth of struggle and hardship.  There’s a reason why we’ve had to endure it.  Everyone has a purpose in life.  Everyone has a dream.  Believe in yourself and know that what makes you unique is invaluable to the world.  Share your dreams with others and open the door to the possibility that life is a lot more magical than it seems.

I did.  And that’s the long winded answer to how I have so much amazing people on this blog to share their inspirational stories with.  How about you?  What’s your story?

September 30th, 2009

How Disneyland's Autopia Ride is Like Your Life

Autopia ridephoto by www.ericcastro.biz

A few posts ago, I wrote an entry entitled, “Staying the Course.”  It was about staying motivated and determined at a gradual pace while mucking through the un-fun parts of following your dreams.  Today though I had a thought.

What if we’re not even trekking on that path?  What if we can’t stay the course because we haven’t even found the right one to start treading on?

Ever go to Disneyland? Well if you’ve been a loyal reader of my little blog, you know that Disneyland isn’t just the happiest place on earth it’s MY happiest place on earth.  That’s how I ended up finding an analogy about life and D.L.

Have you ever rode the autopia ride? You know the one that is close enough to being like a real car to make every little kid who can’t drive excited about driving what they think is “the real thing.”  It’s also the ride that makes young adults who know how to drive also stand in line because it’s totally not the same thing.

Well, I have memories about that ride.  When I was a child, I took the driver’s seat and my grandpa, bless his heart, had the courage to be my passenger.  I learned quickly that there was no real freedom involved since the car was on a track.  When I turned the steering wheel too much to the right or left, the car hit the track and pushed us back on course.  On top of the car jerking back and forth, I also had my grandpa scolding me to, “stay on course!”

Why am I telling you this story? Well this is what I think-if we believe that we haven’t found the right path to the right relationship, the right job, the right life, we’ve been mislead.  I think that like autopia, there is an invisible track keeping us on course.  We’re just oblivious to the subtle jerks that tell us we’re going the wrong way.  Maybe if we wait too long, the signs get bigger and louder, kind of like my grandpa’s voice when I’m getting too far off the track.

So what’s it to you?  Here’s a clue.  If you meet a new guy and he starts talking about his ex-girlfriend, that’s a jerk (pun intended).  Or if you’re offered a job and your stomach starts to turn when you think about it, that’s another jerk.  Every time you do something that causes a reaction, think carefully about it and ask yourself why it’s happening.  Your inner autopia may be directing you to a more authentic life-one that matches up with the true path towards your dreams.

September 24th, 2009

Staying the Course

Hawaii HikingPart of life’s challenge is staying happy in midst of struggle.  Pardon me while I use another hiking analogy.  Imagine you are on a rough trail with the heat beating down your back and the sun piercing your eyes.  Do you take a deep breath and enjoy the ride or do you speed up?

If you ask me, I’d try to get to the end as soon as possible.  The process is not enjoyable for me.

But neither is tolerating difficulty, boredom, uncertainty and the other valleys in our lives.

Our struggle is fighting the urge to rush to get to the top.  Maybe it’s an internal desire in us to believe that “bigger is better” or that winners are somehow more worthy than losers.  Whatever it is, sometimes we’re too much in a hurry to achieve greatness to be appreciative of what’s going on in the meantime.

Let’s role play for a minute.  I’ll imagine you asked me, “What’s the worst that can happen by wanting better for myself?”

Well like adrenaline, when there’s a right amount, you actually do better.  Adrenaline and dreaming of success are motivating.

But on the other hand, sometimes wanting too much too soon can have the opposite effect-it can be paralyzing.  Losing 20 pounds, for example, feels overwhelming but having a goal of losing a pound of week seems more doable.

This is why it’s better to do one small thing than to wait for a life changing moment to take action.  If you want to be a successful paid blogger, for example, start small by trying it out as a hobby before you quit your day job.  Or if you’re anxious for your small business to be a big success, focus first on your products and company before you decide to branch out to bigger and better things.

Every thing has its time and place.  Sometimes we try to rush our experience because the not knowing, or the feeling like we might never accomplish our dreams scares us and either paralyzes us or pushes us too quickly into unknown territory.

The cure?

Start small.  Take every moment as it comes.  Dream big but pursue it with baby steps.  You want to know how to get to the top?  Put one foot in front of the other and over time you will eventually get there.  Just be patient, wait and see!

September 14th, 2009

Dreaming and Growing

There are developmental stages for growth such as childhood, adolescence, adulthood and late adulthood.  As a grad student in Counseling Psychology, I’m pretty familiar with them.  Yet, I didn’t realize that the growing continues even while pursuing your dreams.

I came up with my own version specifically for those following their dreams.  Here are the life stages of dreaming according to me:

Infancy:  The birth of your dreams.  This early stage is all about discovering who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life.  It can come at any age (age is truly just a number here) and can inspire great change.

Childhood: The fun part.  So you’ve quit that life draining 9 to 5 and bought the business cards. This stage is all about play, exploring and delving deeper into the best parts of living your dreams.

Adolescence: Reality hits.  Rebellion sets in.  Questions such as, “What did I do?”  And, “Should I really have quit my day job?” keeps you up at night.  You start to doubt yourself and your decisions.  Or you begin to ask deeper questions such as, “What kind of writer do I want to be?”  This stage is necessary for discovering your true purpose, getting you clear about what specifically you want to do and how you will get there.  It also helps you gain courage, strength and self-motivation.  You’ll need it.

Adulthood: You feel more confident, have more freedom and you are beginning to revel in the fruits of your labor.  Yet, there are still challenges up ahead.  You’re just better prepared.

Later adulthood:  You’ve got the experience, the success and stay ability to know that you can fulfill your dreams.  At this point, you may have returned to infancy many times, pursuing various other new dreams.  You may also have a strong desire to help others by using your business, skills and experience to mentor or assist them in fulfilling their own dreams.

What stage of dreaming are you on?

Venice

September 11th, 2009

9.11 Reflections

This is not a post about the controversies, conspiracies or theories about the event.  Nor is it a political perspective or tribute.  But it is about what 9.11 represents for each of us.  Days like these make us all reflect on who we are and what is important.

In light of the shadows and sunshines that potentially haunt and enlighten us, let us all return to what really matters in our lives.  Let it bring gratitude to the ingracious and clarity for the lost.

One thing that it has shown is that life is precious.  Remember your dreams.  Open your hearts to the possibility of fulfilling them.  Laugh.  Dance.  Dream.  Love.  Fully experience life as if today were the last but dream of a potentially beautiful tomorrow.  Life is truly magical.  If you open your eyes to experience the feel of warm sunlight or a cool breeze on your cheek, you might awaken to how truly magical life can be.

Read about how a few bloggers (John & Sherry from Young House Love and Deb Ng from Freelance Writing Gigs) were influenced by the day.

I hope that this day will bring all of you healing, hope and love for better days to come.

September 3rd, 2009

Do You Have the BALLS?!

All this talk about fear has gotten me scared.  I mean COME ON after reading a handful of articles about writer’s who ate only raw food or fast food for a month, or worked in an Alzheimer’s care facility, I started to ask myself, “Do I have the balls to be a writer?”

What does it take to be a writer?  What does it take to do anything we dream of doing for that matter?

Sure there’s talent, skill, experience, luck…Wait, I just watched Oprah today and ventriloquist Terry Fator said luck had nothing to do with his recent multimillion dollar contract with the Mirage Hotel in Vegas. This sucks because I was really hoping to at least get 1 out of 4.

But seriously if it ain’t luck and I’m too much of a chicken to eat tasteless food or take care of Alzheimer’s patients, then what good am I?

If you’re asking yourself the same questions and are thinking “what’s the use in trying,” I’d say think again.  Sure there may be hundreds of thousands-even millions-of people trying to do what you do, but there is also no one else in the world like you.  The best way to transform your dreams into a reality is to find something you are truly passionate about and don’t stop trying.

When I think back on my life as a young girl from a small island, I never would have believed that I would one day travel to Italy and Greece or see my name in a book or a magazine.  I’m sure you have your own story too.  We all need to believe that we were put on this earth for a purpose.  That our individualities, our quirkiness, what makes others think we’re weird, is all part of what makes us unique.  Let’s celebrate that instead of spending time hiding it!

Oprah has said countless times that we should embrace who we are and be good at that instead of trying to be someone else.  I agree and think that courage comes when we let go of the crutches that give us a false sense of security, a pseudo protection from the world.  We need to let go, risk failing and falling hard to grow, hope and dream.

When I was in middle school, probably my most hated time in life, all I wanted was to be like everyone else.  Now in my thirties, I am a cheerleader for my differences.  The more different, the better!  That’s why I think that although I might not have the courage to do any great feat, I can write because I can do one thing right-believe.  Belief in yourself can get you everywhere.  Although you need to talent, a bit of luck and experience to push you through, you can’t go very far unless you believe that you can.

So here’s hoping that with every new endeavor, you carry a stroke of luck, a gift of talent and skill, that you befriend courage and hold belief close to your heart.  That, my friend, is the balls you need to get you through any scary obstacle toward your dreams.

Athens

September 2nd, 2009

Cover Story is Up

I’ve been a busy bee these days trying to follow my dreams.  One of them has been my long held desire to write for a magazine.  Although I’m still climbing that never ending hill, I’m trying to enjoy the journey.  Here is one fruit of my labor. (Sherry from Young House Love taught me this cool trick: Now you can click on the photo to magnify the image so go ahead and read away!)

Eucalyptus September Issue

Eucalyptus Sept Issue pg2

Eucalyptus Mag pg3

August 22nd, 2009

A Thoughtful Question

In my last post, I talked about the return to simplicity.  It was inspired by my desire to return to Hawaii.  I’ve been living on the mainland for about 7 years with time in Oregon and California and everytime I go back I feel a difference.  It kind of feels like I’ve lost chunks of time in my life, as if I traveled through a time machine and when I returned home everything changed.

The first time away I was in my early twenties and summer was 3 months of going out with friends and dancing until the next morning.  Then after I graduated college and moved home for a few years, friends coupled up and settled down, planting their roots in corporate jobs.  I, on the other hand, felt like I hadn’t had enough and left again.  Somewhere between my mid and late-twenties everyone got married and I still had little desire to plunker down.

My dog got older.  My grandmas got older.  And this time around everyone’s on the third leg of the race with babies and kids and I still wonder, “Have I done enough?”  And will the pockets of time missed here become gigantic gulfs of missed memories one day that I will regret experiencing?

Have you ever asked yourself the same question?  Are you stuck in a job you hate?  Feeling in a rut?  Life happens whether we jump or not.  I guess the real question is, “What are we willing to sacrifice to live the life we are living?”

August 18th, 2009

Playing Limbo With My Life

Have you ever been stuck with one foot in the door and the other one behind holding you back?  Well I have!  In fact, I had a friend once tell me in impatience that I need to learn how to make decisions and stick by it regardless of the outcome.  But deciding what to do when you can’t predict what will happen next is a doozy of a decision.

I was in limbo, for example, going back and forth like a tennis ball when desperately contemplating whether I should stay at my job or leave.  My indecision left everyone dizzy.  Some days I was all for it-screw that job I’d say!  Other days I thought, “Well if only I could tough it out just one more day.”

The same crazy back and forth decision-making process throws me for a loop everytime.  Should I quit?  Should I stay?  Should I move?  Should I stay?  Basically I’m asking, “Should I go or should I stay?”  Yes, stability, sameness, similarity (the 3’s) are all about feeling (here’s another one) safe.  I know where I am now.  I know who I’m dealing with now and I have some sort of pseudo control over what I am going through.  But if I take that step and drag that back leg forward and jump, will I be making the biggest mistake of my life?  Will I one day regret this move?  Will I one day ask myself why I couldn’t have been comfortable in my comfort zone?

The scary part is that there are no answers.  There’s no guidebook or instruction booklet like a recipe that you can follow word for word or a person, place or thing you can hold responsible when everything goes up in flames.  Perhaps, that’s what being human means.  Having the courage to know what we’re jumping into and jumping in anyway.

Although I’m still swinging back and forth in my decisions, I’m learning to enjoy the ride.  It also helps when I realize how many big jumps I’ve already made and far I’ve already come.  It’s kind of like taking a hike up a steep mountain.  You may not know what’s ahead or if you’ll even like it, but you can turn around and see how far you’ve already come.   And in that, you can keep treading ahead, stronger and wiser.

It’s all about listening to that quiet but clear voice.  The one that gets smothered by the “what if’s” and “shoulds” of the world.  I think we all know what we have to do.  When we listen to it, we make that big leap a whole lot smaller.