June 30th, 2009

How to Cover a Blunder

A pimple can be covered with concealer but a blunder?  A blunder may need to be exposed no matter how unattractive it is to its beholder.  Whether you failed a test, stuck your foot in your mouth, hit send on an angry “I will never send” email, blunders are truth tellers and you’ll be better off listening to what they’re trying to say.

The hard part may be taking it.  Sure the lesson may be to spend more time checking your work in advance, or rereading your email, but your head may be saying, “You idiot!”  

So what do you do when you’ve encountered a personal blunder? 

While failing has the power to make others quit before they’re ahead, it fuels my fire.  Yes messing up doesn’t feel good but there are ways to get around it so that you get all the benefits of learning a lesson without torturing yourself to get there.

Get Physical!  “When the going gets tough, the tough gets moving.”  Get up and get out and do something!  I love zumba because it’s fun and challenging to the point that I can’t think about anything else but what I’m doing in the moment.  The key is to find something that changes your thinking from past thoughts “Why didn’t I?” to present minded thinking “What am I doing now?”

Forgive Yourself.  I’m sure we all know that no one is perfect. Yet, we often don’t give ourselves the break that we give others.  The next time you feel like you “messed up,” imagine what you would say to a friend and then say it to yourself.

Have Faith.  “It ain’t over ’til the _____.”  I once heard a quote that said if everything hasn’t worked itself out, then it isn’t over.  I agree.  You never know why whatever happened did.  Maybe you “messed up” an interview because subconsciously you didn’t really want it.  Or maybe you loss one job or relationship only to find a better one to come along later.  You never know what will happen or why it happens and it’s better that way.  Have faith that things happen for a reason, you may just not know what that is yet.

So the next time you are faced with a blunder, don’t hide from it, cover it up or pretend it doesn’t exist.  Instead, look it right in the face and say thank you because you never know what lessons it has in store for you.

CategoryInspirational Stories, job, Life, work | CommentNo Comments »

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June 29th, 2009

Fear of Asking for What You Want

Whether it’s asking for a raise, a job, time off, or time alone, why are we so reluctant to ask for what we really need?  

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  In the past, I debated whether to ask for more pay at a job and the fear nearly paralyzed me.  Although I eventually gained the courage to ask, I wondered why we often avoid asking for what we want?  Is the fear greater than our need?

Fear of Disappointment.  I believe part of of our fear derives from past fears of rejection.  When we were younger, we may have asked for something as small as a bike or as big as time with our parents only to end up being disappointed.  Not asking may be a way to avoid reliving these hurt feelings.

Fear of Rejection.  Whether it reminds us of our first heartbreak or loss of a job, when we ask for what we want and get turned down, it can feel like a rejection of who we are.

Feelings of Unworthiness.  Sometimes we don’t ask because we think we don’t deserve it.  Why should we for example, ask to live the life of our dreams?  Who are we to do it when everyone else  has to suck it up and slave away at their 9 to 5 jobs?

So what do we do when we feel unworthy, fear disappointment or rejection?

Stay positive.  Negative thoughts and ruminating, makes facing your fears even more challenging.  Instead try to tell yourself that getting rejecting by ___ is not a rejection of yourself and that in the end everything will turn out for the better. For affirmations, check out Wayne Dyer’s Motivational Affirmations taken from his book Excuses Begone! at Beliefnet.com.

Make it impersonal.  Sometimes when we avoid asking for what we want, what we’re really afraid of is being judged or criticized for who we are.  Remember that getting turned down for whatever it is (a date, job, etc.) has less do with us and more to with the individual.  They may not like your writing style or your hairstyle, but someone else will.  The best way to deal with this is to not take things personally.

Feeling Worthy.  Remember that you are worthy of asking for what you want.  You were born with the same rights, potential and possibilities as anyone else.  You have every right to ask for what you want in life.  And if you have trouble swallowing this one, think about someone you admire and then ask whether or not they deserve to ask the same question.

The only way to get what we want is to ask for it.  Practicing these steps, learning to trust our instincts, and having faith, will help give us courage to ask the questions that will get us to our dreams.

Path

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June 27th, 2009

Risk it all to have it all

Life is scary. Life can be hard. And from what we do know, it doesn’t get any easier. So why do we do it? Why do we take risks, make that leap, dive into the unknown?

Simple. Because it’s worth it.

And it’s worth it not because it’s important to others or because of what it brings to us.  Money, prestige, awards, fame are all seemingly nice rewards for a job well done.  But the real thrill is “swallowing that jagged pill” because we are human and we can.

Life working in the cube was predictable, stable and comfortable.  But it was also boring, mind-numbing and unchallenging.  It took away all the great gifts we are endowed with being human.  There was no emotion involved, no fear of rejection, nor test of our worth.  In essence, it taught me what it would be like to be a computer.

While steady pay is always a great thing, it’s also important to remember who we are.  We’re built to be tough, to withstand hardship, to learn from our mistakes, and grow as individuals.  

This experience has taught me that no matter how scary it is to dive into the real world, I’d much rather take that risk then to deny myself the experience of being human.

Life is short.  And in the end, what will be the things we regret or wished we did?  The next time you’re faced with a challenge, remember that you’re already equipped to deal with it.  Take a chance and you will be rewarded.  Not with riches, prestige and fame (which may or may not come) but with the feeling of confidence that you can do anything and be anyone.  And that my friends, is a reward that is truly priceless.

Taking a Risk

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June 25th, 2009

A Night to Remember

I took a few days off of blogging to experience the fruits of my labor. I got invited to a private launch party for the magazine I recently wrote for. It was thrilling to be there-to hear the owner tearfully and gratefully introduce her new magazine, to see it being revealed, to network with others who are also following their dreams. The moment was memorable and now I’m exhausted. Will be back tomorrow for more inspiring posts. Stay tuned!

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June 23rd, 2009

Creating a Soundtrack for Your Life

Did you ever watch Ally McBeal?  Well I was a big fan for its humorous and quirky characters and I loved watching Ally’s drama play out in creative, fantasies that reminded me of being a kid.  

What has stayed with me long after the series ended in 2002 is how her therapist played by Tracey Ullman, asked her to choose a theme song representing her life.  I’ll never forget seeing Ally dance in the street to, “I Know Something About Love.”  It’s a reminder to me about the importance music plays in our life.

When life gets you down, when your muse is on hiatus, or when you just need a boost, do you have a soundtrack ready to lift you up?  

For me, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, when I can’t see past this week, Michelle Branch’s, “If I Just Breathe” always fills me.  It particularly makes me think of one of my favorite Sex in the City episodes. If you’re a fan like me, you know Season 6, Episode 82 “The Catch” where Carrie swings on the trapeze and falls right into the safety net.  

Something about the lyrics and seeing her smile, helps to remind me that sometimes even when there seems to be nothing there to save us in life, if we just take that giant leap, our own safety net will be ready and waiting to catch us if and when we fall.  

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Yb_RXJG0FU&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1]
What about you?  Got a tune you listen to? Share them here.

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June 22nd, 2009

Hearing Voices: How to Tell Which One You Should Be Listening to

RomeSometimes I hear voices in my head and no I’m not psychotic.  Listen up cause you might be hearing them too.  They’re the voices that tell you what to do.  But I’m not talking devil on one shoulder and angel on the other (although they might look like that to you).

I’m actually talking about the voices that sound like this, “What makes you think you’re talented enough?” versus “You need to go for it now!”  They both may sound like your voice but they definitely have different personalities.  Let me explain.

When you have a strong inclination to do something whether it’s to quit a job or leave a relationship, the voice is bold, confident and all-knowing.  It’s like the side of you that’s not afraid of anything, that truly believes in yourself, that is unwavering.  

However, there’s another side that often comes out when we try to follow our dreams.  It’s the voice that’s a bit shaky, anxious and desperate that says, “Don’t do it” out of fear.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear that we’re not good enough.  Fear that we don’t have what it takes, so why even try.  It’s this guy, small, insecure and powerless that tends to end up with all the power because we often let it.  We give in to our fear and ignore our instincts and eventually he runs our lives.

There’s another alternative, however.  I’ve learned that whatever voice you begin listening to, the stronger that voice becomes.  If you continue to question yourself, allow doubt and fear to control your decision, the easier it will be for fear to creep into your life.  On the other hand, when you face that fear, go with your instincts and listen to that voice, the easier it will be to follow your dreams and your heart.

So the next time you’re faced with a difficult decision or a fork in a road, remember to tune into who’s talking.  Then, make a conscious decision to listen to the voice that’ll lead you to your dreams.

CategoryFacing Fears, Inspirational Stories, Stories of Gratitude | Comment2 Comments »

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June 20th, 2009

The Yes Man

I watched Jim Carrey’s, “Yes Man” on DVD the other night and my husband and I agreed it was pretty good.  Not for Carrey’s predictably unpredictable antics or the story’s plot but because it reminded us that anything is possible when you say “yes” to possibility and opportunity.  It kind of got me thinking about my own life and the repercussions of saying “yes” to the unknown.

Take for example my dream career.  I’ve always wanted to be a writer and a copywriter since I first saw “Bewitched” on Nick at Nite.  Darren’s job seemed intriguing and I remember creating my own portfolio of commercials and jingles as a kid.  Then life happened and I tucked away that dream.

But recently, I’ve been on the road to follow that path again and slowly but surely have made my way to that pot of gold.  It started when I applied for random non-paying writing internships hoping that the experience would pay for itself.  I ended up scoring a summer internship for an eco-friendly website.  I was stoked!  I got the position everyone else was jonesing for.  

I took the job seriously writing about how to be eco-friendly at work and throwing clothes-swapping parties.  But then, I hit another brick wall.  I submitted all this great stuff and then I never heard from the editor again.

That was a few years ago.  Since then, I actually got a job as a copywriter but later realized it wasn’t the dream career I thought it was.  I began writing in this blog hoping I’d eventually figure it out.  

This year, I became more aggressive in my job search and started marketing myself online and researching possible publications even ones that weren’t obviously hiring.  I also began reading relevant books, and online resources to give me info on how to become a freelance writer.

One book, “Finding Your North Star” by Martha Beck really started the ball rolling.  Beck says that when you begin listening to yourself and what moves you rather than do what you think you’re supposed to do, you will find your true calling.  That’s how I ended up here writing an article for an eco-friendly magazine that I applied to.  

Here’s what happened.  On Friday, I decided what I really wanted to do was take another day to rest from the flu.  Boy am I glad I did because that same day I received an email at 5:40 am asking me to write an article for that same eco-friendly magazine and finish it in 2 days!

It was an exciting venture one that I believe is propelling me on to more opportunities.  Although this recent one has left me breathless with excitement and fear, I know that I still have a long road ahead of me.  Because once we get our dreams, we have to commit to all the things it comes with, the fears, challenges and possibilities.  It is worth it, however.  And hard to believe it all started because I had the courage to say, “Yes I believe!”

Dreams

Find yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experience by leaving a comment. And don’t forget to subscribe here if you like what you see.

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June 18th, 2009

Kathy Griffin: My New Role Model?

Kathy GriffinI have a secret.  I kind of like Kathy Griffin.  Okay she may be as bold as her red hair, and vulgar as a man, but I think she is hilarious and as funny as the people she surrounds herself with.  

Take for example, that time she was “dating” Woz aka Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak.  It made me interested in Apple and I work for them!  Or how about her hilarious parents and crew.  Her sweet mom always with a drink in her hand and her “how’d they get that job?” staff.  You can’t write that stuff or can you?  I can’t ever tell how much is staged and how much reality is in reality.  

But the bottomline for me is that no matter how zany and off-kilter she can be, my main motivators to watch Griffin on Bravo’s “My Life on the D-List,” are her stubborn, unyielding, never get her down attitude.  She may say crazy things and act like nothing bothers her, but when it comes to her passion (making the A-list) she wears her heart on her sleeve and I admire her for that.

It doesn’t matter if people don’t know who she is or her name, she actually makes a joke of it and then keeps going.  And no matter her goal, whether getting an Emmy (which she’s gotten 2 so far) or a Grammy nomination (she’s gotten one), she’s clear and persistent.  I’d say, “She’s got balls” in a big way.  

Her show may be called, “My Life on the D-List” but I think Griffin’s got a secret too, with the popularity of the show her desperate attempts to clench attention and success has gotten her quite a few awards and nominations as well as rubbing elbows with celebs.  One things for sure, you know who’s got the last laugh!

Photo courtesy of KathyGriffin.net.

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June 16th, 2009

Oh No! I'm George!

While in a feverish state, I heard familiar voices coming from the television.  No I wasn’t hallucinating.  It was episode 7 of Seinfeld, the one where George quits his job in reaction to his boss’s memo asking him not to use his private bathroom.  George explains to Jerry, “I snapped! It was the last straw.”

Although initially he felt pretty confident about his decision to quit, he later doubts what he did when Jerry asks,”So, what are you gonna do now?”  As his anger dissipates, his fear begins to rise.  Now what’s he going to do with his life?  

Of course in true George Costanza fashion, he starts backpedaling and ends up trying to go back the job he hated.  Humorous for him, not so funny for us.  

Even though few would admit, many of us suffer from the same fate.  Not out of need for money but fear that we won’t find what we’re looking for.  Whether it’s a job or a relationship, sometimes we’d rather be in it just for the sake of having something or someone cause the unknown seems a whole lot scarier.

I say if we could only wait a little longer, hold on, have faith, we might end up finding exactly what we’re looking for.  But the longer we remain grasping whatever is “enough for now,” the harder it’ll be for that great ____ (add house, husband, job, etc. here) to find room in our lives.

 The only way to get to that gold at the end of the rainbow?  Embrace your inner strength.  Face that fear and learn to be without, at least for a little while.  It’s a surefire way you won’t end up being another George Costanza!

For you Seinfeld fans, here’s extras on the episode aptly titled, “The Revenge.”
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T02r7mlhEmA&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1]

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June 16th, 2009

A Healthy Inspiration

I’m always amazed by what life can teach us.  When we’re up, we’re up but when we’re down, it seems life kicks it up a notch and the lesson becomes that much richer.

While I was sick this week, I realized how much I really needed it.  Most people wouldn’t pray for sickness, but I think inside I was in dire need of time to rest and recuperate.  Instead, getting my blogs up to par, my queries out and articles written seemed way more important than me or my health.

I sacrificed much needed idle time where inspiration is created and sleep for time to write outside of my day job and for what?  After a handful of days doing nothing, I got an epiphany when I realized that nothing was loss or gain.  

In fact, today while I was still at home recovering I felt sublimely happy and not because I received any accolades, got a great new job, or won me a plum writing contract, but I realized that all of that didn’t matter.  All that mattered was that I rested, relaxed and read when I felt like it.  

I’m hoping this new lesson will stay with me as my fever dies so that I can bring new appreciation to my life, one that’s not about trying to “make it” in this crazy world of ours.  All I know is that feeling unsick is the best feeling ever and if I can remember how important THAT is, everything else will go by the wayside…

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