Archive for ‘Inspirational Stories’

July 22nd, 2009

Facing the Music

One of the greatest challenges to success is facing ones fears. You’ll notice it’s a reoccurring theme in my blog and seen here in my previous interview with Life Coach Jaqui Duvall. The real question then, is why are we so scared of success?

On LiveStrong.com and in a post titled, “Handling Fear of Success,” licensed psychologist James J Messina talks to Jake Lawson about what those fears are and why they prevent us from success.  Some of the reasons such as the fear of not being good enough, fear of not being happy once we achieve our goals and fear of being recognized when we do well, sound all too familiar to me. When someone compliments my writing, for example, I’m always scrounging around for words of critique versus praise.

But why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Isn’t the goal in life to be happy, to succeed, to accomplish all of our dreams? When we play video games or board games, how often are we worried about these same fears? We seldom think that we don’t deserve to win. But in the game of life, why is that we take ourselves out of the race, even before the competition has really begun?

It may be those self-sabotaging beliefs that motivated our actions as children such as, “nobody likes a winner” or “it’s best not to stand out from the crowd.” It could also be a deep, underlying belief that we are somehow unworthy of success because who are we really?!

The solution? Although there’s no easy solution, there are hope and love. Hope allows you to believe that dreams are possible and love involves loving yourself enough to believe that you can. Not everyone can make it to the top, but I truly believe that everyone deserves the chance to get there.

At the top of the mountain

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July 16th, 2009

Harry Potter Made Me Believe

I was lucky enough to catch the latest Harry Potter late last night.  It was the best one yet!  Lots of actions, excitement, humor and even a few love stories added to the mix.  

The thing that really got me about this one was how scary it was.  I had to close my eyes to get through some of the scenes.  My reaction got me thinking about how much they resemble my personal fears.  They too sometimes make me want to squeeze my eyes shut especially when there’s no magic wand to make it all go away.

So how do we deal with our fears?  

Well in reality, we can either run and hide or face them head on.  Though we might not have a wand to make them disappear, we do have the courage to defeat them.  We are a lot stronger than our fears and a whole lot more powerful.

In fact, there’s no need for a cape, super powers, or magic to get us through even the scariest moments in our lives.  All it takes is having the courage to believe…belief in ourselves and our dreams.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood PrincePhoto from the WashingtonPost.com.

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July 13th, 2009

My Worst Fear Comes True

When you’re slaving a way at your stable 9 to 5, not much really scares you.  Life is often boringly easy.  Maybe that’s why we stay in it so long.  Having a paycheck come in every few weeks becomes a luxury when we take that leap from desk job to the job of our dreams.

As I transition from corporate life to being a full-time freelancer, I’m realizing how scary and exhilarating making that jump is.  I thought just entering the field was terrifying enough but there are many, equally scary steps along the way.  

For me it was my fear of my tape recorder not working in an important interview I had scheduled.  I did everything I could to prevent my fear from happening.  I brought a dozen batteries and two tape recorders and tested both three times before I went.  And guess what?  Both didn’t work!  

What I got instead was a lesson learned.  We can prepare but we can’t control life.  Even when your worst case scenario becomes a reality, life goes on. Embrace the fear, and you’ll find that you receive more than you lose.  So I didn’t get the entire conversation on tape.  Instead I took good notes, listened well and made a connection with the interviewee.  And most importantly I learned not to allow my fear to get the best of me.    

Florence


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July 7th, 2009

In the meantime, in between time

Sometimes you know where you want to be but you just can’t get there yet.  You might be working at a job you hate or in a relationship that’s not working. That’s okay.  You can still get to your dream and live in the moment now, no matter how sucky that now might be.  

The time between now and then may seem like eons away.  When you’re staring at the gold at the end of the rainbow but you’re standing under some gray clouds and rain, your present moment may not seem as dreamy as you’d wish it to be.  

So what do you do to stay focused on your far away dreams?

Stay positive.  Watch funny movies.  Call your funny friends.  And remember to surround yourself with as much positivity as you can stand.  It’s going to be rough in the meantime, so at least have some fun along the way.

Stay present but remain focused on the goal.  Some days may be harder than others to get through the day.  When I was feeling stuck at my 9-5 job, I used my lunch hour to read books on following my dreams and strategized how I would get there.  I had a plan and a timeline.  This helped me to stay focus on my future goals and prevented me from getting overwhelmed by the difficulties of daily life.

Try to find the silver lining.  Maybe your job, relationship, etc. isn’t the greatest, but you’re going through it for a reason.  Try to figure out what this situation is trying to teach you so that you can learn from the situation.

In the meantimes are always rough.  I know because I’ve had my share.  Remember to be kind to yourself during this time and know that like everything else, “this too shall pass.”

CategoryFacing Fears, How to, Inspirational Stories, Life, Stories of Gratitude, work | Comment2 Comments »

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July 6th, 2009

The "I'm Not Worthy" Syndrome

It was made funny by Dana Carvey in SNL’s favorite sketch “Wayne’s World,” but in reality feeling unworthy is anything but funny.  Whether it’s money, success or happiness that we’re fearing, why is it that we often deny ourselves what really want out of the fear that we’re unworthy of it?

Oftentimes when I’m hitting the online job ads, I automatically look for qualifications and skills that I don’t have versus what I do.  Somehow it’s an easy way for me to eliminate jobs.  Yet, even when I find gigs that I’m qualified for I tend to second guess myself.  And what’s left?  Jobs I’m overqualified for.  Sure those are easy to get, but they’re not so fun to maintain.  More importantly, they are most likely unchallenging and unworthy of you, your time, skills and energy.

So what’s the antidote to the I’m not worthy syndrome?  Take a shot of confidence, a dose of courage and a drop of hope and then take a deep breath and do it anyway.  The thing is that even the most successful person you admire didn’t start off that way.  Everyone experiences that moment when they doubt who they are and if they can really make it.  

The difference between them and us?  They took a chance and believed that they could.  So the next time you feel insecure, unsure and unworthy, remember this one thing: pretend that you are already the person you’ve always wanted to be.  Imagine you are successful, amazing, and totally worthy.  Chances are, you already are!

Carmel

CategoryFreelance writing, Inspirational Stories, job, Life, work | Comment1 Comment »

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July 2nd, 2009

Are you a cat or a dog?

My co-worker yesterday told me that he was half-cat.  Knowing he wasn’t crazy, I asked him to clarify.  He said he lived life thinking that he had at least 3 more to go.  “Ah!” I said.  Now I get it.  I told him, “Well I’m a dog then.  Cause I live life like I only have one.”  

How do you live your life?  

Are you still waiting for life to happen to you?  Feel like you have forever and a day to make that dream come true?  For all we know, we only have one life so we might as well live it to the fullest. 

A dog's life

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June 30th, 2009

How to Cover a Blunder

A pimple can be covered with concealer but a blunder?  A blunder may need to be exposed no matter how unattractive it is to its beholder.  Whether you failed a test, stuck your foot in your mouth, hit send on an angry “I will never send” email, blunders are truth tellers and you’ll be better off listening to what they’re trying to say.

The hard part may be taking it.  Sure the lesson may be to spend more time checking your work in advance, or rereading your email, but your head may be saying, “You idiot!”  

So what do you do when you’ve encountered a personal blunder? 

While failing has the power to make others quit before they’re ahead, it fuels my fire.  Yes messing up doesn’t feel good but there are ways to get around it so that you get all the benefits of learning a lesson without torturing yourself to get there.

Get Physical!  “When the going gets tough, the tough gets moving.”  Get up and get out and do something!  I love zumba because it’s fun and challenging to the point that I can’t think about anything else but what I’m doing in the moment.  The key is to find something that changes your thinking from past thoughts “Why didn’t I?” to present minded thinking “What am I doing now?”

Forgive Yourself.  I’m sure we all know that no one is perfect. Yet, we often don’t give ourselves the break that we give others.  The next time you feel like you “messed up,” imagine what you would say to a friend and then say it to yourself.

Have Faith.  “It ain’t over ’til the _____.”  I once heard a quote that said if everything hasn’t worked itself out, then it isn’t over.  I agree.  You never know why whatever happened did.  Maybe you “messed up” an interview because subconsciously you didn’t really want it.  Or maybe you loss one job or relationship only to find a better one to come along later.  You never know what will happen or why it happens and it’s better that way.  Have faith that things happen for a reason, you may just not know what that is yet.

So the next time you are faced with a blunder, don’t hide from it, cover it up or pretend it doesn’t exist.  Instead, look it right in the face and say thank you because you never know what lessons it has in store for you.

CategoryInspirational Stories, job, Life, work | CommentNo Comments »

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June 29th, 2009

Fear of Asking for What You Want

Whether it’s asking for a raise, a job, time off, or time alone, why are we so reluctant to ask for what we really need?  

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  In the past, I debated whether to ask for more pay at a job and the fear nearly paralyzed me.  Although I eventually gained the courage to ask, I wondered why we often avoid asking for what we want?  Is the fear greater than our need?

Fear of Disappointment.  I believe part of of our fear derives from past fears of rejection.  When we were younger, we may have asked for something as small as a bike or as big as time with our parents only to end up being disappointed.  Not asking may be a way to avoid reliving these hurt feelings.

Fear of Rejection.  Whether it reminds us of our first heartbreak or loss of a job, when we ask for what we want and get turned down, it can feel like a rejection of who we are.

Feelings of Unworthiness.  Sometimes we don’t ask because we think we don’t deserve it.  Why should we for example, ask to live the life of our dreams?  Who are we to do it when everyone else  has to suck it up and slave away at their 9 to 5 jobs?

So what do we do when we feel unworthy, fear disappointment or rejection?

Stay positive.  Negative thoughts and ruminating, makes facing your fears even more challenging.  Instead try to tell yourself that getting rejecting by ___ is not a rejection of yourself and that in the end everything will turn out for the better. For affirmations, check out Wayne Dyer’s Motivational Affirmations taken from his book Excuses Begone! at Beliefnet.com.

Make it impersonal.  Sometimes when we avoid asking for what we want, what we’re really afraid of is being judged or criticized for who we are.  Remember that getting turned down for whatever it is (a date, job, etc.) has less do with us and more to with the individual.  They may not like your writing style or your hairstyle, but someone else will.  The best way to deal with this is to not take things personally.

Feeling Worthy.  Remember that you are worthy of asking for what you want.  You were born with the same rights, potential and possibilities as anyone else.  You have every right to ask for what you want in life.  And if you have trouble swallowing this one, think about someone you admire and then ask whether or not they deserve to ask the same question.

The only way to get what we want is to ask for it.  Practicing these steps, learning to trust our instincts, and having faith, will help give us courage to ask the questions that will get us to our dreams.

Path

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June 27th, 2009

Risk it all to have it all

Life is scary. Life can be hard. And from what we do know, it doesn’t get any easier. So why do we do it? Why do we take risks, make that leap, dive into the unknown?

Simple. Because it’s worth it.

And it’s worth it not because it’s important to others or because of what it brings to us.  Money, prestige, awards, fame are all seemingly nice rewards for a job well done.  But the real thrill is “swallowing that jagged pill” because we are human and we can.

Life working in the cube was predictable, stable and comfortable.  But it was also boring, mind-numbing and unchallenging.  It took away all the great gifts we are endowed with being human.  There was no emotion involved, no fear of rejection, nor test of our worth.  In essence, it taught me what it would be like to be a computer.

While steady pay is always a great thing, it’s also important to remember who we are.  We’re built to be tough, to withstand hardship, to learn from our mistakes, and grow as individuals.  

This experience has taught me that no matter how scary it is to dive into the real world, I’d much rather take that risk then to deny myself the experience of being human.

Life is short.  And in the end, what will be the things we regret or wished we did?  The next time you’re faced with a challenge, remember that you’re already equipped to deal with it.  Take a chance and you will be rewarded.  Not with riches, prestige and fame (which may or may not come) but with the feeling of confidence that you can do anything and be anyone.  And that my friends, is a reward that is truly priceless.

Taking a Risk

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June 25th, 2009

A Night to Remember

I took a few days off of blogging to experience the fruits of my labor. I got invited to a private launch party for the magazine I recently wrote for. It was thrilling to be there-to hear the owner tearfully and gratefully introduce her new magazine, to see it being revealed, to network with others who are also following their dreams. The moment was memorable and now I’m exhausted. Will be back tomorrow for more inspiring posts. Stay tuned!

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